Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #lives #celebrities #media

Considerably individuals live some people believe that

celebrities

Change noun form

celebrities'

celebrity's

show examples

lives

should be their privacy and should not be shared too public. I strongly agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

the statement. Nowadays people are able to track others by social

media

whether where they are or where they went.

Celebrities

Change noun form

Celebrities'

Celebrity's

show examples

private

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

should not be shared

Change preposition

with

show examples

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

due to

Change preposition

for

show examples

their own safety. Some Fanclub tried to follow their

favorites

Change the noun form

favorite

show examples

celebrities

without giving them space, some

tries

Wrong verb form

tried

show examples

to stalk where they

live

Wrong verb form

lived

show examples

, and some

tries

Wrong verb form

tried

show examples

to hide cameras in their private places.

This

is a result of not giving them their own

lives

and space as

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

although

they are just like other normal people.

Moreover

celebrities

’ private

picture

Fix the agreement mistake

pictures

show examples

Add an article

the picture

a picture

show examples

picture

Fix the agreement mistake

pictures

show examples

Correct article usage

the bathroom

show examples

bathroom

Fix the agreement mistake

bathrooms

show examples

bedroom

Fix the agreement mistake

bedrooms

show examples

may be shared by

those

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

Fanclub without them having consent.

As a result

, these may embarrass them and it may impact their future work and

lives

Furthermore

, Individuals these days

feels

Correct subject-verb agreement

feel

show examples

that

celebrities

are different,

however

, they are just as normal as us. Many

celebrities

this

day use most of their day time with work

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

going

Change preposition

show examples

concert

Fix the agreement mistake

concerts

show examples

, shooting

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

, and going to events that

took

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

all of their time in a day. Meanwhile, if they

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

their own time, they would not want to

spent

Change the verb

spend

show examples

it as

celebrities

though they would want

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

to treat them normally. On the other

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

, if Fanclubs

saw

Wrong verb form

see

show examples

them in malls or

restaurant

Fix the agreement mistake

restaurants

show examples

enjoying their self-time,

thus

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they

decided

Wrong verb form

decide

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

post

picture

Fix the agreement mistake

pictures

show examples

of them on social

media

while

they are resting

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

cause

Wrong verb form

causing

show examples

many other individuals to follow them

this

may lead

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

mental health

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

and depression because they would not be able to spent their privates

lives

this

is why we should not share their privacy through

media

. In conclusion,

Celebrities

Change noun form

Celebrities'

Celebrity's

show examples

lives

should be

Replace the word

closed

show examples

privately and not be shared too

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

Due to

their own safety concern and their future

lives

Moreover

celebrities

’ mental health and how they live in their everyday

lives

Submitted by thanapat1229 on Thu Oct 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Invasion of privacy
Media scrutiny
Public persona
Personal autonomy
Sensationalism
Paparazzi
Tabloid journalism
Right to privacy
Mental well-being
Public interest
Ethical journalism
Celebrity culture
Gossip columns

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In contemporary era, crimes are occurring everydays. It is widely believed that evey criminal comitting the same crime should always receive the equal level of punishment while there is another view insisting that punishiments should be different by their living enviornments. This essay will discuss both perspectives and present the opinion.
7
band
discuss whether the advantages of nuclear energy outweight the potential risk and environment concern
Nuclear energy is a topic which bears some consideration over the globe .It is from the writer's point of view that this pattern brings more merit such as no emission and efficiency security than the drawback of the crowd's strength concerns.
8
band
Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours,and they feel more stressed out than before. *What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? *What can employers do to make their employees's life easier?
In recent times, working longer hours has affected numerous workers, which means it can increase their stress levels. Personally, I believe that there are significant issues why having stress at the workplace adversely impacts employees, and there are possible solutions to release their pressures. This essay will provide the reasons and find ways to curb this worrying trend in the following paragraphs.
<4
band
Interviews are the basic selecting criteria for most companies. However, some people think interviews are not a reliable method and there are better methods. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, every company's followers same procedure to select their employees. Few people think an interview is not reliable enough to select their are other options for selecting them. I completely disagree with the notion. In this essay, i shall examine this using examples to support my view.
5.5
band
Your next-door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: your reason for writing what you would like to happen a nice, respectful style
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your small dog that barks throughout the day and the night has disturbed my family's peaceful life.

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

discuss whether the advantages of nuclear energy outweight the potential risk and environment concern

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours,and they feel more stressed out than before. *What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? *What can employers do to make their employees's life easier?

Interviews are the basic selecting criteria for most companies. However, some people think interviews are not a reliable method and there are better methods. Do you agree or disagree?

Your next-door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: your reason for writing what you would like to happen a nice, respectful style

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours,and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? What can employers do to make their employees's life easier?