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Band 6

These days, many people are moving from rural areas to city centers. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #areas #city #centers #development
A large number of
people
 has been moving rapidly from urban areas to
city
 sites. A plethora of shifting from one place to another in the towns.
However
, changing
this
 situation is better employment opportunities in the suburbs. Many
people
 believe that working in the
city
 areas is beneficial for their living standards.
This
 essay will elaborate on both the pros and cons in the upcoming paragraphs. Most of the
people
 feel that if they earn in the towns they will succeed in making enough money. The income compared to the rural site is not enough for the entire family.
Besides
this
, they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
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 not so many payable jobs to run their own. Working in the countryside is quite difficult for older
people
 and they leave these jobs.
Furthermore
, the availability of education is for children there. The institutions are learnt of different fields so the young
people
 can opt any subject. The institutions are taught to the students about different fields so there is a chance for young
people
 to get advanced knowledge from the schools. Another, way
people
 have the latest medical treatments to live there.
Consequently
, living with a high quality of life is being increased by
people
 in the
city
 areas. Apart from that some pupils think that shifting to the other place is not good motion because they feel that if they live in the rural side we will remain healthy. There are lot of fresh food available for the nation so they can grow fruits and vegetables in their fields.
Moreover
, there is no phantom traffic problem so
people
 might live without pollution.
Therefore
, they prefer to live peaceful environment and stay healthy. In a nutshell, many
people
 want to live with different facilities so they avoid living in the countryside.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 some folks think that it's a better opportunity to live without deteriorating, they are likely to spend their time on the agricultural side. In my opinion,
people
 should live in the
city
 centre because there are many facilities to live with advanced knowledge and skills.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

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task response
Ensure that your essay clearly addresses all parts of the prompt and responds to the specific questions asked. Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clearer logical structure in your essay. Make your main points more explicit and provide better transitions between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and sophisticated language to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Pay more attention to grammar and sentence structure. Make sure to use correct verb forms and sentence constructions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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