IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university students tend to learn about other majors
in addition
 to their major,
while
 others think that they should dedicate all their time and concentration to get
one
 diploma.
This
 essay will argue both points of view and the fact that concentrating on a qualification is not the best approach, and gaining different points of view is a better choice. Giving attention to only
one
 major might be easy and beneficial for students to construct a sufficient educational background to get a degree
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they are not interrupted by other subjects.
However
, it is unlikely to be enough for the post-graduate era. Nowadays, the business world is significantly competitive, and companies look for multi-functional employees.
According to
 a Forbes Magazine article, job candidates who have more than
one
 license were accepted more than two times than others in 2023 in Europe.
On the other hand
, people who learn about different subjects
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university become more creative and can think analytically. These features are crucial for problem-solving and managing crises.
For instance
, case studies are an important part of interviews in big companies
such
 as Google, and
Pew
Correct article usage
the Pew
show examples
 Research Center's study on case-study achievement rates revealed that multi-disciplined people can pass the test easier than others.
Therefore
, students ought to experience different subjects and situations so they can think outside the box in critical moments.
To conclude
,
although
 relying on
one
 qualification may be convenient to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discipline-based knowledge, it is not enough to reach privileged positions after graduation.
Submitted by silaaltundag5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Develop the conclusion a bit more to clearly summarize both views and reiterate your stance. This will create a stronger ending for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main argument. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both viewpoints, providing relevant examples to support each side.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction that sets up the discussion well and a conclusion that summarizes the essay’s main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: