IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the advertisement, bussinesses nowadays usually emphasis that there products sre new in some ways. Why is this? Do you think its a positive or negative developement.

In
this
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 modern world, businesses often use
advertisements
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 to promote that their
products
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 are a new innovation in order to attract
customers
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.
Although
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this
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 action might benefit companies in the way of profit motives, I
considered
Wrong verb form
consider
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this
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 as a negative development since it can affect the
customers
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the drawbacks
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
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 action and provide a logical conclusion.
Due to
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 the advancement in technology,
advertisements
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 can
be access
Change the verb form
be accessed
show examples
 more easily by individuals worldwide. Almost every company will create an overclaimed advertisement about their
products
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 in order to manipulate and persuade the
customers
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 to buy their
products
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. By doing
this
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, they will definitely gain more profits since people often buy certain
products
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 because they see the
advertisements
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, thinking that the
products
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 are good and special.
For instance
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, some
advertisements
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about
Change preposition
for
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 new technological devices
claimed
Wrong verb form
claim
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 that they work faster compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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older
products
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.
However
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, the new
products
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 are just slightly faster than the older ones and work quite the same. Even though
advertisements
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 are popular in the past, individuals often skip
advertisements
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 since there are too many of them on the internet nowadays. People don’t usually watch
advertisements
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 anymore since they are annoying sometimes,
instead
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, they read
reviews
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 about the
products
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 they want to purchase. The reason for doing
this
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 is
because
Correct word choice
that
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 individuals are afraid to try new
products
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 since they don’t know whether it is good or bad,
however
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; there are people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 love to try new things and write
reviews
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 about them, making others
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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make choices easier when it comes to purchasing something.
For instance
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, I want to buy a skincare product, but I’m afraid that it might not be as good as the brand claimed, so I decided to look
this
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 product up online to find
reviews
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 about it. If the
reviews
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 said that
this
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 product is worth it, I’ll buy it,
however
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, if it said
otherwise
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, I won’t spend my money on it. In conclusion, creating
advertisements
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 for
products
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 a wise way to attract more
customers
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 and gain more profits.
However
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, overclaimed
advertisements
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 are not morally the right thing to do since the brands are lying to the consumers just to receive more money.

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the specific prompts and question. Develop a clear and coherent argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure that the ideas are logically connected and supported with appropriate examples and evidence.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas and concepts more precisely. Also, pay attention to collocations and word choice.
grammatical range
Pay closer attention to grammatical accuracy, especially with verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure.
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