IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays people are spending more time in workplace and staying away from home for work.Discuss its advantages and disadvantages with your own experience

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People these days spend a lot of their precious hours in the office which causes them to not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to spend at home.
While
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this
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 trend has raised the productivity of companies ,it definitely comes with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 heavy price of not being able to spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 for ourselves or with our family members.
Firstly
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, every company aims for its
betterment
Correct word choice
own betterment
show examples
 and there is so much emphasis on achieving a certain target within a period of
time
Use synonyms
. The employers expect the workers to put in loads of work to attain the goal and
that is
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 what leads them to stay over
time
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. It in turn increases productivity.
Additionally
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, if all the goals are met it
also
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 means more money for the establishment and the employees.
For instance
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, a sales company may ask their salespersons to market their product and fetch at least 1000 customers
at the end
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 of the month. Now,
this
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 might mean that they have to put in more extra hours and energy but it increases the number of buyers as well and is
thus
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 profitable to everyone involved.
Conversely
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 , it means that the workers are going to be maxed out at work, leaving little to no
time
Use synonyms
 for them to pursue any other activity be it a hobby or some self-care or just spending
time
Use synonyms
 with their loved ones
such
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 as friends and family. Spending a part of the day doing what we love the most has been considered to be the single most important factor to keep going in the long run .
This
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 culture of overworking definitely has a huge negative impact on the mental well-being of the person and can even lead to stress-related health issues.
For example
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, people who don’t destress have been found to have ailments like hypertension, stroke and so on. In conclusion,
while
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 the practice of staying long hours in the workplace has upsides like increasing productivity
along with
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 financial benefits it
also
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 has the downside of the workers being stressed out. The key is to find a good work-life balance that provides us with the best of both worlds.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific idea and that your ideas are logically connected throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points and provide closure.
lexical resource
Good use of vocabulary. However, try to vary your word choice and use more advanced vocabulary wherever possible.
grammatical range
You have a good range of sentence structures, but be cautious of minor grammatical errors such as subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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