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Band 7.5

In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after the birth of the newborn. Do you think the advantages of maternity leave outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #women #maternity #first #month #birth
Several countries around the world allow new mothers to take leave during the first month after childbirth and
according to
 me,
this
 is crucial as it gives time for the women to recover
while
also
 providing time to bond with the young one. I definitely think that the merits of maternity leave outweigh the disadvantages.
Although
 birthing is a tedious and painful process for the human body some people tend to dismiss it. When one goes through
such
 a task it takes at least some weeks for them to recover irrespective of the mode of delivery ,be it a normal vaginal delivery or a cesarian section.Schools , colleges , and workplaces should understand
this
 and give females the benefit of staying at home to heal.
For instance
, people who undergo surgery are given off from work and
this
 helps them get better soon. The same concept should be applied to labour as well and the betterment of the female must be prioritised.
Moreover
,the newborn needs constant attention and care for quite a
while
. It needs to be breastfed adequately to ensure its health, growth and development.
In addition
 ,the connection between the young one and its caregiver is
also
 vital for a good upbringing and
such
 tasks can only be achieved if women stay in their household to take care of the child.
This
also
 ensures that the kids become healthier adults in the future. In conclusion, many countries have taken a step in the right direction by giving women their well-deserved leave to rest and get accustomed to their motherly duties.
This
 will ensure the well-being of both the lives involved in creating a healthy lifestyle.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the prompt by explicitly mentioning the advantages and disadvantages of maternity leave.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow of ideas by using clear topic sentences and linking words and phrases.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary by using more varied and precise words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to the use of complex sentence structures and grammatical accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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