Social media has become a real problem for some young people today, and governments should create laws that allow only people over 18 years of age to have accounts. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#media #people #governments #laws #years #age #accounts

It has been observed that states should

crease

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

statue

Correct your spelling

statutes

show examples

that agree only people over 18 years of age

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

have accounts. I fully support

such

a measure to do. In my viewpoint,

this

can bring many positive outcomes. The advantages of

make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

laws for youngsters are undeniable and manifold. The first benefit is

that

Correct your spelling

show examples

exposes us to different opinions and

experences

Correct your spelling

experiences

, which

stimulate

Correct subject-verb agreement

stimulates

show examples

them to

far

Add a missing verb

be far

show examples

away

the

Change preposition

from the

show examples

internet and protect their eyesight. They may

also

be motivated to challenge existing norms and values, and even generate breakthrough innovation and achievements.

Secondly

, in

such

Correct article usage

an environment

show examples

environment

Add a comma

environment,

show examples

children can fully appreciate the

deversity

Correct your spelling

diversity

and richness of cultures

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and can adopt the perspective of the other party when encountering problems. Allowing young people to think about

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

from multiple

respectives

Correct your spelling

perspectives

can improve their judgment ability for internet

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

Multi-dimensinal

Correct your spelling

Multi-dimensional

thinking can

also

enhance their

critic

Replace the word

critical

show examples

thinking skill, and they will no longer adopt

a simplistic or biased views

Correct the article-noun agreement

a simplistic or biased view

simplistic or biased views

show examples

of problems. It cannot be ignored that there are some disadvantages associated with

this

practice. One of

Add an article

the th

show examples

Correct your spelling

the

drawbacks is that strict management

dose

Correct your spelling

does

show examples

not bring commensurate rewards and leads to diminishing marginal utility, which means that the additional extra limiting minors from holding their own accounts

decreases

Change the verb form

decrease

show examples

as the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of loneliness increases.

This

results in inefficiencies and waste of resources, which could be allocated

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to more productive and beneficial activities. Fortunately, there are some measures we can take to improve

this

alarming situation. One of the possible solutions to solve

this

problem is to

this

problem is to change people’s mindset. They should not be constrained by their habits or impulses, but rather to touch different new things,

such

as reading books or

Wrong verb form

going

show examples

shopping with friends. By doing so, they can avoid putting themselves in a boring environment.

This

means that not only social media can pass the boring time. In conclusion, I believe that the benefits of

this

matter largely surpass the drawbacks, as it possesses remarkable merits and the demerits are manageable.

Submitted by cyh000823 on Thu Oct 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with relevant examples and evidence.

coherence cohesion

Include a better introduction and conclusion to effectively frame your essay.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words and phrases to convey your ideas.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve the overall clarity of your writing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is considered by undergraduate students that learning additional subjects is crucial while studying mandatory topics in universities. Meanwhile,others consider it is more essential to give their total time and focus on their main field to graduate with high grades. while allocating time effectively might be challenging for some people, I personally believe that expanding our horizon knowledge is important in life.
<4
band
'Is it important to be ethical all the time.' What are the advantages and disadvantages of being ethical all the time?
Is it important to be ethical all the time.
7.5
band
Humans have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress has negative effects on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Given the pivotal role of the advancement of technology, the question of whether or not its effects on human beings are positive has garnered widespread interest. One common perspective that many people, myself included, disapproved of is that this development impacts adversely on individual’s lives.
6
band
Sea Glider Shows Underwater Potential what it mean?
A strange-looking yellow "fish" has been lurking in the waters off the southern coast of Vancouver Island recently. Called a Slocum underwater glider, the 1.5-metre-long, 52-kilogram torpedo-shaped vehicle is under evaluation by the federal government’s Institute of Ocean Sciences (IOS). Driven entirely by a variable buoyancy system instead of a propeller, it needs no mother ship for tethering or support. The evaluation project is a formal collaboration between Fisheries and Oceans Canada and the Canadian Centre for Ocean Gliders (CCOG).
<4
band
As major cities around the world are growing , so are their problems .what are these problems for young people lives in cities ?what are possible solutions for these problems .
With the help of technology , the world has come a long way . Over the years the lifestyle of people has changed alot . In the current scenario, it can be seen that many folks from rural area come to cities for better lifestyle and facilities . As the population has been increasing in the main cities there's some negetive also can be seen like many communities believe that because of the overpopulation in cities it can be seen that, young people suffer alot . There is a range of arguments related to the assertion . In upcoming paragraphs, I'll not only shed light on the matter but also elaborate the possible solutions .

Social media has become a real problem for some young people today, and governments should create laws that allow only people over 18 years of age to have accounts. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

'Is it important to be ethical all the time.' What are the advantages and disadvantages of being ethical all the time?

Humans have made a great technological process in the last hundred years. However, this progress has negative effects on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sea Glider Shows Underwater Potential what it mean?

As major cities around the world are growing , so are their problems .what are these problems for young people lives in cities ?what are possible solutions for these problems .