some people think that the advantages of sports products through famous sports players outweigh the disadvantages .To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #sports #products #players

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It is irrefutable that advertisement has a paramount importance for the organisation

as well as

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the society,

also

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. A certain segment believes that advertising of

sports

Use synonyms

products

Use synonyms

by a popular play player has more advantages than disadvantages. I agree with

this

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statement

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

;

Correct word choice

and I

show examples

would like to explicate

Change preposition

apply

show examples

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are various benefits of advertisement for a company which has been done by popular

sports

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person. The first and foremost advantage is that myriad individuals follow

sports

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players they obtain the same style as them. Owing to

this

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reason, the masses rely on them; they buy that product very quickly from the market. Which they watch on the television.

This

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step consumers benefits advertisers.

Moreover

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, sportsmen have good knowledge about

sports

Use synonyms

items.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, they always hold those advertisements in which they can provide accurate knowledge about

sports

Use synonyms

products

Use synonyms

to customers.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is a benefit to society, those who watch their advertisements.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, another advantage of advertising

sports

Use synonyms

products

Use synonyms

through

sports

Use synonyms

players is that

sports

Use synonyms

people

also

Linking Words

acquire the opportunity to earn more money. Which mushroomed their income.

However

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, giving preference to

sports

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players for advertising has some disadvantages

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

. Advertisements mostly lure youngsters and offspring who are not mature enough. They pressurise their parents to buy

products

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sports

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. Which can mismanage the budget of households sometimes

this

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tendency can create misunderstanding between parents and adolescents. In conclusion,

although

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advertising by brilliant

sports

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troupes has positive effects more; it has some negative effects

also

Linking Words

on the new generations.

Submitted by mhmdkhlwd98 on Thu Oct 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction lacks clarity and conciseness. Start with a clear thesis statement that indicates your agreement and briefly mentions the points you will discuss.

coherence cohesion

Improve the organization of your essay by using clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a specific point and provides sufficient supporting details.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words to express your ideas. Avoid repetitive language.

grammatical range

Work on sentence structure and grammar to ensure more accuracy and clarity in your writing. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence formation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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some people think that the advantages of sports products through famous sports players outweigh the disadvantages .To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

All sudents should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet.