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Band 4

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #leisure #time #pressure #work #studies
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is not enough leisure
time
 among young people.
Students
 are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies.
Every
Change the determiner
Everyone
Each
show examples
 needs leisure
time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
refreshes
teen’s
Correct article usage
the teen’s
show examples
 brain to continue working efficiently and from enforcement. To gain more opportunities for self-development, for a bright future and for their future self
students
 spend most of their
time
 outgrowing themselves, even do not
having
Change the verb form
have
show examples
time
 for a nap. A commonly held belief is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 several subjects are taught at school or at
university
. Teachers give a huge amount of home
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
,
then
 they
put
Verb problem
set
show examples
deadline
Fix the agreement mistake
deadlines
show examples
,
thus
students
 do not
time
Add a missing verb
have time
show examples
 for hobbies.
For instance
, many
students
 complain that they cannot meet deadlines
due to
 the large quantities for a limited duration without taking the
time
 into consideration.
As a result
, it leads
off
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
disappearance
Correct article usage
the disappearance
show examples
 of motivation,
appearance
Add an article
the appearance
show examples
 of unwanted stress and
vanishes
Verb problem
the disappearance
show examples
 of
teenager’s
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers’
show examples
 productivity. Another reason for
this
 issue is that finding a good job
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 harder than it used to be in the old days. In the past, the number of
university
 graduate
students
 was lower than now. Everyone could find a job.
The thing
Correct your spelling
Things
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 changed since
then
.
For example
, companies ask for more qualifications and experience. A
university
 degree is not enough anymore.
Students
 need to study more about different things. One solution is to impose the companies to expire every student that has the ability to do the job.
Moreover
, it gives
this
university
 graduate student the chance to improve their ability without concentrating on other unnecessary things. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would argue that, the government should pay attention to the efforts of
students
, not to the
university
's grades, free
time
 which is essential for them to recharge their energy.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • high expectations
  • academic success
  • future success
  • competitive nature
  • modern education systems
  • top grades
  • prestigious universities
  • high-paying jobs
  • rise of technology
  • social media platforms
  • physical activities
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular demands
  • multiple responsibilities
  • economic factors
  • lower-income families
  • part-time jobs
  • academic pressures
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