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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

In some countries, more people choose to live by themselves in recent years. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development for society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #years #case #development #society
For some
Change preposition
Some
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 countries,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have a culture
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in that
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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for
Change preposition
apply
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teenagers
 after
age
Add an article
the age
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 of 18,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need to live on their own.
This
 culture
are
Change the verb form
is
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 familiar in
western
Capitalize word
Western
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 countries
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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 instance,
america
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America
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 and
europe
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Europe
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. In
this
 case, there is a significant positive impact for some
people
 that are starting to live by themselves
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 instance, personal growth of
teenagers
 and
self discovery
Add a hyphen
self-discovery
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. In America, it's legal for parents to let their children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
live on their own in view of the fact that 18 years old is considered as the age of majority when your teen is considered an adult. Another reason for
that is
 the higher economic stability for parents to live in and the start to teaching
teenagers
 financial independence. There is a lot of evidence in many countries that
teenagers
 are desiring for independence and personal freedom because of how strict their parents are.
This
 evidence
make
Change the verb form
makes
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teenagers
 choose to live by themselves Some other reasons why some
people
 choose to live on their own are
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
connectivity and occupation. For some
people
 who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
live in the countryside, they need to leave their hometown to work because of the range. In conclusion, there are positive and negative thoughts about
people
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 to live by themselves
for instance
, it is a positive development because of financial development and personal growth.
Submitted by hwidyadana on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • living alone
  • individualism
  • cultural shift
  • urbanization
  • mobility
  • independence
  • personal freedom
  • economic stability
  • financial independence
  • family structures
  • technological advancements
  • connectivity
  • personal growth
  • self-discovery
  • social connections
  • support networks
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