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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that schools should teach foreign languages for primary school children. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #schools #languages #school #children #outweigh
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It is argued that primary school children's syllabus should include a foreign language subject. I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages if properly implemented. First of all, learning a language is a method to develop cognitive skills. Communicating with multiple
languages
Use synonyms
 not only enhances the capability of remembering words but
also
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 applying the rules of arranging sentences.
For instance
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, in the majority of nations in the world
to begin
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 writing sentences is from left to right, but in Arabic, it is the opposite which is from right to left.
Secondly
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, instilling a variety of
languages
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 can increase future opportunities. In
this
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 modern era, it is a common thing for people working overseas and a foreign company to come to our society.
For example
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,if a Chinese fabric company builds a factory in a suburban area of Indonesia, those who understand Chinese will be better than those who don't. Moving
further
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, There are some drawbacks of early exposure to other
languages
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. If it is not well programmed it may affect the learning of other subjects, to have a deep understanding of a lesson there will be needed spaces to maintain proficiency.
However
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, students have an unequal potential distribution that may require more time and resources.
To sum up
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, it is often considered that
first stage
Add a hyphen
first-stage
show examples
 schools entail teaching overseas
languages
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 in order to form well-rounded youngsters so that they can use the ability to perform better in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future.
Hence
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, parents need to accompany and give extra attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their child to avoid a burn-out.
Submitted by sifa.herdini on

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task response
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task. You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of teaching foreign languages in primary schools and have formed a balanced opinion. Well done!
coherence cohesion
The logical structure in your essay is well-developed. You have presented a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a different main point and is supported with relevant examples and explanations. Good job!
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary. You have used a variety of words and phrases to convey your ideas. However, there are a few instances where a more precise or academic word choice could be used.
grammatical range
Your essay shows a good level of grammatical accuracy. Most of the sentences are well-constructed and there are only minor errors in grammar and sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foreign languages
  • primary school
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • develops
  • cognitive skills
  • enhances
  • cultural awareness
  • improves
  • communication skills
  • increases
  • future opportunities
  • promotes
  • multi-lingualism
  • affect
  • learning
  • subjects
  • qualified
  • language teachers
  • lack of
  • time
  • resources
  • difficulties
  • maintaining
  • language proficiency
  • potential
  • unequal distribution
  • opportunities
  • overall perspective
  • properly implemented
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