Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for and accept what their children want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?

#parents #children #consequences

Parents nowadays provide everything their

children

request and accept

Change preposition

apply

show examples

everything their

children

want to do.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

this

will have a drawback

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

This

essay will discuss the consequences of spoiling

children

Firstly

, spoiling

children

can make them selfish and rude,

this

is a bad way to raise adolescents,

due to

the low reproduction parents focus on their

children

's happiness without considering the results ,

therefore

children

will become

self centered

Add a hyphen

self-centered

show examples

and just care about their interests and don'

care others feelings,

thus

, spoiling won'

make them have friends and they won'

obey any rules or traditions.

For example

, they will become aggressive if they can'

get a toy

this

will be difficult for them because they always get what they want.

Secondly

, spoiled

children

will

easy

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easily

show examples

commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

when they become older because there

Add a missing verb

are a

show examples

lot of obligations and rules in

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

for example

, but they won'

follow the rules

due to

that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

aren'

used to them. In conclusion, there are bad consequences for spoiled

children

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

parents should stop for their ultimate happiness.

Submitted by noor23.hamza23 on Fri Oct 27 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

176 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

indulgence
overindulgence
leniency
emotional resilience
rejection
entitlement
realistic expectations
self-regulated behavior
egocentric
financial management
professional relationships
collaboratively
criticism
appreciation
value
effort

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Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for and accept what their children want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: Your reason for writing What you would like to happen A nice, respectful style.

Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the radio is the best way to get new while others believe that TV is better for this purpose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.