Some people think that the inteernet has brought people closer togethert while others that people and communities are bbecome more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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The
internet
has facilitated communication and connection among
people
around the world, so many
people
think that
this
action
is help
Change the verb form
is helping
show examples
people
close up,
while
someone
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
think that social media will
making
Change the verb form
make
be making
show examples
people
lonely. In
this
essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument,
while
I support the former opinion. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
show examples
hand, many
people
think that the
internet
is a good way to keep in touch with other
people
from around the world ,and if they do not have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
innovation
Fix the agreement mistake
innovations
show examples
, they will hard to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
.
Such
as my parents
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
alway
Correct your spelling
always
use
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
and
line
Capitalize word
Line
show examples
application to chat with my brother who
is working
Wrong verb form
works
show examples
abord
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
in
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
,
in addition
, the video from the application can help them to see each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. So, I think that new
plathforms
Correct your spelling
platforms
are very
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
for us because
this
action is a very easy way to
communication
Replace the word
communicate
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the development of new technology may
making
Change the verb form
make
be making
show examples
our
life
boring ,and
someone
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
are
Verb problem
may
show examples
feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
lonely because they
are thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
that the technology are not
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
real
life
for example
, they never met
people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
face to face. So, they think that if they meet
people
online in
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, they will
be do
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not have sociable. So, I think that
this
case may be harmful in the future. So,I think that the
internet
can be
positives
Fix the agreement mistake
positive
show examples
and
negatives
Fix the agreement mistake
negative
show examples
for us, but we have many ways to solve the
negatives
Change the noun form
negative
show examples
problem.
Firstly
,
people
who always online working, they should be
to
Correct word choice
able to
show examples
spend time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other activities like
hang
Wrong verb form
hanging
show examples
out with
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
. To
conculd
Correct your spelling
conclude
, the development of new innovation
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
our
life
more
esay
Correct your spelling
easy
essay
,but sometime the
internet
may our
life
isolated. So, I think that the way to use the media
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
times like
fucus
Correct your spelling
focus
show examples
the time to play them.
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

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task response
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is inadequate, and the essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitated
  • connection
  • geographical barriers
  • social media platforms
  • sense of belonging
  • diverse perspectives
  • collaborate
  • share knowledge
  • excessive use
  • social isolation
  • face-to-face interaction
  • addicted
  • disconnection
  • physical surroundings
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • withdraw
  • false sense of connection
  • superficial relationships
  • polarization
  • echo chambers
  • balance
  • benefits
  • drawbacks
  • foster
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