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Band 4

many countries are spending a huge of money on supporting their competitors to take part in some worldwide sports competitions. others argue that it would be better if these countries could spend the money on children to take part in sports. to what extent do you agree or disagree

#countries #money #competitors #part #sports #competitions #children
PRESENTLY, THERE ARE SEVERAL COMPETITIONS IN SPORTS
SUCH
 AS
OLYMPICS
Correct article usage
THE OLYMPICS
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, WHICH MAKE NUMEROUS
OF
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apply
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COUNTRIES SPEND
MONEY
 ON
THE
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apply
show examples
SPORT
Fix the agreement mistake
SPORTS
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 TO WIN IN ALL TYPES OF SPORTS.
HOWEVER
, SOME INDIVIDUALS BELIEVE THAT THEY SHOULD SPEND
MONEY
 ON YOUNG KIDS MORE THAN
ADULTS
. FROM MY PERSPECTIVE, I
PARTAILLY
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PARTLY
 AGREE WITH
THIS
 AFOREMENTIONED STATEMENT AS
SUPPORT
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SUPPORTING
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CHILDREN
 ARE BENEFICIAL IN THE FUTURE, BUT
ADULTS
 NEED
MONEY
 TO DEVELOP THEMSELVES TOO. ONE OF THE MAIN COMPETITIONS NOW IS SPROT WHICH REQUIRES PLENTY OF
MONEY
 AND
TIME
 TO IMPROVE THEIR SKILLS. IT IS GOOD TO SPEND THE
MONEY
 ON
CHILDREN
 SO THEY WILL BE GOOD ENOUGH TO JOIN
COMPETITION
 IN THE NEAR FUTURE, AS SPORTS NEED A VARIETY OF
TIME
 TO PRACTICE, AND NEED
TIME
 TO BUILD THE MUSCLE.
MOREOVER
, THE NEW
TIME
 RECORD COULD HAPPEN
EVERYTIME
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EVERY TIME
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 SO THEY NEED MOST OF THE
TIME
 TP PRECTISE, WHICH WHO HAVE THE SKILLS SINCE THEY WERE YOUNG, IT IS BETTER.
HOWEVER
, TO BE IN THE
COMPETITION
 REQUIRED PLENTY OF
MONEY
, EVEN THEY GROW UP ALREADY.
FURTHERMORE
, MOST COMPETITIONS NOW
IS FOCUSING
Wrong verb form
FOCUS
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 ON
ADULTS
 MORE THAN
CHILDREN
 SO THE
MONEY
 SHOULD TO ON BOTH
ADULTS
 AND
CHILDREN
, AS EVEN
THEY
Correct word choice
IF THEY
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 GROW UP ENOUGH TO JOIN
COMPETITION
Correct article usage
THE COMPETITION
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BUT
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apply
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THEY STILL NEED TO IMPROVE THEMSELVES ALL THE
TIME
 TO WIN THE
COMPETITION
.
FURTHERMORE
, THE
CHILDREN
 WILL GROW UP TO
ADULTS
Add a missing verb
BE ADULTS
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 ONE DAY, IT COULD NOT JUST SUPPORT
ON
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apply
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CHILDREN
 UNTIL THEY ARE 18 AND STOP JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE AN ADULT ALREADY. IN CONCLUSION, THE
MONEY
 SHOULD NOT JUST GO TO
AN
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apply
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ADULTS
 OR
CHILDREN
, IT SHOULD BE FOR BOTH THE IMPROVE THEMSELVES.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • elite sports
  • national pride
  • international recognition
  • sports infrastructure
  • grassroots development
  • healthier future generation
  • talent nurturing
  • societal needs
  • life skills
  • discipline
  • social interaction
  • funding allocation
  • public inspiration
  • global competitions
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