Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured
products
such
as food and drink contain a great deal of
sugar
, which leads to numerous health problems. I agree with the notion that
products
with added
sugar
should have higher prices to encourage people not to consume too much
sugar
.
Initially
, excessive
sugar
consumption can contribute to various health issues, including obesity, diabetes, and even certain types of cancer.
For example
, consider a middle-aged individual who regularly indulges in a fast-food diet and can face the threat of having obesity or diabetes. Anytime he ordered chicken, burgers or even pizzas, the restaurant often offered him sugary carbonated drinks, on each dish, making him easily ingest it every day. The more he consumes these drinks, the higher the likelihood it leads to insulin resistance and an increased risk of developing type 2 diabetes, which has a significant effect on his well-being.
Moreover
, I strongly support the idea that
products
with high
sugar
content should be priced higher to deter people from overconsumption. When the price is no longer reasonable, individuals are more likely to seek healthier alternatives.
For instance
, if a can of Red Bull costs
triple
Change the verb form
triples
show examples
what it usually does, customers in most cases do not take it as freely as before, they need to consider more options or opt for water bottles or organic drinks
instead
. Indeed, the pricey approach can serve as a barrier that prevents people from using sugary
products
excessively. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly support the proposal to raise the prices of sugary
products
, as it can help reduce the risk of numerous health issues in the long run.
Submitted by vinhange on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and is well-developed with supporting details and examples.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance the overall quality of the essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and use a variety of sentence types, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: