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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people aspire to a balance between work and other parts of their lives, but few achieve it. What are the problems in trying to achieve this and how can these problems be overcome?

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It is true that there are more and more doctors and employers who advocate the importance of
work
Use synonyms
-life
balance
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.
However
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, several problems make it hard to achieve, but steps can definitely be taken to address those. There are two primary reasons why
workers
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 find it hard to strike a proper
balance
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 between lives and jobs.
Firstly
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, so fierce is the competition that most of them have no choice but to apply themselves to
work
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. It is conceivable that if a younger adult slackens at self-improvement, he or she is doomed to be eliminated by hot competition.
Therefore
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, for the purpose of outshining others in their careers, they put abundant focus on the job.
Secondly
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,
according to
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 research, a number of employees have to
work
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 in their spare
time
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as a result
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 of overloaded loading.
Accordingly
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, they can barely utilize leisure
time
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 for personal lives,
such
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 as family life, health management, and personal hobbies.
Nevertheless
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, some steps can be taken by the government and the employers.
To begin
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 with, companies should advocate the importance of
work
Use synonyms
-life
balance
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. Through acting in their leisure activities and spending
time
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 with family,
workers
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 are able to ease some pressure and recharge their energy. It can not only maintain one’s mental health but
also
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 improve the efficiency of
work
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.
In addition
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, the government ought to enact some compulsory laws to protect employers from overloading. To give a clear example, with a clear criterion,
workers
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 are provided a method to appeal when they
work
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 over
time
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.
Hence
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, it can ensure that employees possess spare
time
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 for personal life. In conclusion, despite the fact that so many
workers
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 apply to
work
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 for higher achievement and overmuch workloads, the government and the enterprises are able to initiate the significance of
work
Use synonyms
-life
balance
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure in your essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar accuracy.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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