Write your personal statement for MA Comparative Education in University College London.

My ultimate goal to acquire from
this
degree is to know which
education
system Korea should borrow
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
Therefore
, I
also
have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
in
Education
Traditions and Systems in Europe. I want to know why some governments are more successful than others in solving
education
problems. My long-term goal is to be dispatched to the “Jeonnam
Education
Policy Research Institute”. I want to listen to various opinions from the
education
field,
Correct word choice
and monitoring
show examples
monitoring
Wrong verb form
monitor
show examples
the policy, and I would like to propose a field-oriented
education
policy using my expertise
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
Comparative
Education
. Throughout my teaching experience in Korea, I have specialized knowledge in the field of
education
. Even if, I still like the teaching profession with children who give unconditional love, there is a possibility to infringe teacher’s authority.
Therefore
, I want to know about
education
in a global text, and I want to contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Education
Correct article usage
the Education
show examples
of Korea to make a field-oriented
polity
Correct your spelling
policy
show examples
. If I get
this
Master
Change noun form
Master's
show examples
degree, I will be able to build a solid foundation in achieving my dream.
Submitted by soyuyu9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main idea of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a stronger introduction that provides background information and clearly states the purpose of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas about education systems.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to include more academic and formal language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to the accuracy and complexity of your sentence structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: