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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

University students should be required to attend classes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

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With an ever-increasing focus on
students
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' class engagements, some individuals have opined that attending
classes
Use synonyms
 should be mandatory for
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay,
however
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, will provide several reasons why I strongly disagree with
this
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 opinion.
To begin
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 with, some individuals argue that mandatory
attendance
Use synonyms
 is necessary for
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, from the
Use synonyms
students'
Correct your spelling
student's
show examples
 perspective, they often struggle to maintain a well-regulated life
due to
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 the demands of exams requiring extra study time and social events that help create helpful connections.
Moreover
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, compared to
students
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 with a mandatory
attendance
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 system, those without
such
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 a requirement have shown decreased appreciation and engagement in lectures.
Therefore
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, these
students
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 can benefit from mandatory
attendance
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 by learning punctuality and discipline, which emphasize the importance of responsibility. Despite the reasons mentioned above, I firmly contend that attending
classes
Use synonyms
 should not be mandatory for
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
.
While
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 acknowledging some points from the previous arguments, focusing on other
students
Use synonyms
' perspectives can illuminate a different view. The priority for
students
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 is to maximize the quality of their learning. If they consider a lecture to be of low quality, they should have the right not to attend.
For example
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,
students
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 tend to avoid
classes
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 where the professor is not attentive to their needs.
Furthermore
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, there are alternative ways to study even if
students
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 are absent. Online course materials are often available, and the majority of universities provide online platforms for
classes
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.
Therefore
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,
students
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 should be able to choose whether to attend
classes
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. In conclusion, some individuals might argue that mandatory
attendance
Use synonyms
 is necessary for
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
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, I completely believe that considering the challenges faced by other parties can lead to more sustainable advantages.

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task achievement
To improve the task response, further elaborate on specific reasons and provide more detailed examples. This will better support your argument and demonstrate a more comprehensive coverage of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main point that is directly connected to the thesis statement. Use linking words and phrases more consistently to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that your argument considers and refutes potential counterarguments in greater depth. This will add complexity to your essay and show a balanced analysis.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced consideration of different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow and understand the main points.
task achievement
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay's main points and clearly states the writer's position, which reinforces the main argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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