IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

describe a graph that shows average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, globalisers and non-globalisers.

describe a graph that shows average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, globalisers and non-globalisers.
#growth #products #countries #globalisers #non-globalisers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 bar chart depicts the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the percentage of Gross Domestic
Product
Use synonyms
 from 1960 - 1990 in three categories ( Wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
,
Globalisers
Use synonyms
, Non-
Globalisers
Use synonyms
) .it's clear from the graph that, the percentage of Domestic
Product
Use synonyms
 for both Wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
 and
Non
Add a hyphen
Non-Globalisers
show examples
Globalisers
Use synonyms
 had declined throughout the period.
While
Linking Words
Globalisers
Use synonyms
 showed a
consistently increased
Replace the word
consistent increase
show examples
 in the GPD growth.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, in
1960s
Change the article
the 1960s
show examples
,
Weathy
Correct your spelling
Wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
 accounted for the highest GPD proportion, followed by Non-
Globalisers
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Globalisers
Use synonyms
 had the lowest. In the following 10- years, all three categories observed a similar pattern of Gross Domestic
Product
Use synonyms
 rate that ranged from 2.8% - 3.1%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the Gross Domestic
Product
Use synonyms
 of
Globalisers
Use synonyms
 in 19980, had accounted for 3.5%,
whereas
Linking Words
 Wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
 illustrated just over 2 per cent , and
then
Linking Words
Non
Add a hyphen
Non-Globalisers
show examples
Globalisers
Use synonyms
 had the lowest rate just
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
below 1 per cent.
However
Linking Words
,
Globalisers
Use synonyms
 had reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
arround
Correct your spelling
around
 4,9
per
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cent
Fix the agreement mistake
cents
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the other two categories remained below 2 % .
To sum up
Linking Words
 , Wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
 should
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
decreased pattern in the GPD population throughout the decades.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to
Globalisers
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
experienced an increased trend over the years.
Submitted by du.sg16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words product, countries, globalisers with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic products
  • wealthy countries
  • globalisers
  • non-globalisers
  • average growth
  • graph
  • trends
  • economies
  • advanced technology
  • globalization
  • global trade
  • integration
  • slow growth rate
  • participation
  • economic growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: