employers some times ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. some people say that this information may be relevent and useful. others disagree. discuss about these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

While

Linking Words

some people believe that self-information

such

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as personal interests and marital status, which are being asked in

job

Use synonyms

applications are considered significant, others claim that

such

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details should not be required for employers. In my opinion, I believe that sharing personal information gives an

overall

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perspective of the applicant's personality which is vital for

job

Use synonyms

prospects.

This

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essay will discuss both views and my opinion in detail with pertinent data. On the one hand, private data is mandatory in understanding the qualities of a person.

In other words

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, employers would prefer to understand what type of qualities the person has to perform the given

job

Use synonyms

in a clear and efficient manner. when companies learn about their leisure activities and status gives them a glimpse into their personality

as well as

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helps them to understand if they can adapt to flexible working conditions.

For example

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, it is proven that individuals who play video games during their leisure hours possess strong critical thinking skills, which are required in performing challenging tasks.

On the other hand

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, people think that

such

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information is not required for employers.

This

Linking Words

is to say that folks think that the privacy of data is more important to breed trust and authenticity.

Moreover

Linking Words

due to

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technological advancement privacy breaches have become more prevalent in our digital age, which has negative consequences for individuals.

In addition

Linking Words

, there are many online hackers who steal employee details for various purposes

such

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as cyberbullying and the spread of misinformation.

For instance

Linking Words

, it is evident that top companies are caught for security breaches

due to

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cyber attacks. In summary,

although

Linking Words

it has potential impacts on collecting worker's personal details, I believe

such

Linking Words

information is strongly needed to provide employment opportunities because a combination of technical knowledge and a good personality is required to manage the

job

Use synonyms

efficiently.

jeeanaySun Nov 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

Consider creating a more cohesive structure by using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to delineate your points more clearly. This will aid in the reader's understanding and the overall flow of your essay.

task achievement

Strive to address the task more fully by exploring both views presented in the question with balanced development. Expand your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations to achieve depth and thoroughness in your response.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

employers
applying for jobs
personal information
hobbies
interests
marital status
relevance
usefulness
insights
personality
compatibility
company culture
skills
passions
job positions
discrimination concerns
qualifications
experience
hiring decisions
structured interviews
objective assessments
balance
professional qualities
decisive factor

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employers some times ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. some people say that this information may be relevent and useful. others disagree. discuss about these views and give your own opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Today there are a lot of websites providing news on the internet. Some people believe that these websites will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying are alternative medicines anf treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favour.