IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#space #travel #time #people #tourism #future #development
One day, travelling to
space
 will be more accessible and there is a strong belief that
space
 tourism will potentially thrive in the future. From my perspective, there are both merits and drawbacks to exploiting a tourist industry in
space
. On the one hand, there are some potential benefits that
space
 voyages can contribute to the growth of the world. It really marks a leap in a technological revolution that allows people to discover new things in the infinite universe. Not only that,
space
 voyage will help humans find a new living place to replace our current planet which is being destroyed and all mankind is on the verge of extinction.
Therefore
, moving to another planet is inevỉtable.
On the other hand
,
besides
 the advantages of
this
 trend , there are some disadvantages. Even though travelling to
space
 is a dream for everyone it requires a huge amount of money to make the dream come true. Since
space
 exploration is pricey, it hinders underprivileged people from accessing the universe , only the wealthy can do it. Yet
this
 accidentally deepens the distance between the poor and the rich in our society.
Furthermore
,
space
 travel will be exposed to some risks, which influence the safety of the celestial goers. Generally, the
space
 tourist industry possesses a significant potential to bring humans out of the box , but there
also
 exists some hidden adverse effects related to high costs and safety.
Submitted by nguyenhoanghadl on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Try to make your arguments more coherent by using clear topic sentences and linking words.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to enhance the richness and variety of your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to verb tenses and sentence structures to improve grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancement in technology
  • Scientific knowledge
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Inequality
  • Regulation
  • Sustainable practices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: