IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Write a letter to a transport office about a problem with the transportation system in your area. •Describe the situation you are facing •Why do you consider it a problem •What change you would like to recommend.

#transport #office #transportation #system #area #•describe #situation #•why #•what #change
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Dear Sir or Madam I am Smith, one of the residents of Hell neighbourhood. I am writing
this
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 letter to inform you that there is a huge
problem
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 with the tram in our area.
This
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 trouble has impacted our transportation station to the extent that we have been experiencing delays lately. To get into details, the
problem
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 is at the entrance of the station, especially at the access system which has become old and out of service.
Thus
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, we could not enter smoothly to the station. The old
gates
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 have made a huge
problem
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, given the fact it
become
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becomes
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 crowded in front of the
gates
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 and people need to wait until some staff open it manually.
Furthermore
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, it is hard for elderly people and kids to face
this
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problem
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 and as a father having children,
this
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 makes my life difficult. I would like to suggest fixing
this
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problem
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 as soon as you can and it might be better if you replace the old
gates
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 with new ones.
Moreover
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, it would be preferable if you consider implementing AI features to these
gates
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. I await your prompt response in regard to
this
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problem
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 Kind regards, Chris
Submitted by YT on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clearer division between each paragraph to separate each idea effectively, enhancing visual coherence.
task achievement
Include more details or examples to elaborate on the situation and impact, providing a fuller picture.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is suitably formal and polite for addressing a public office, which is appropriate for this context.
coherence cohesion
The letter opens with a clear introduction and concludes with a polite closing and well wishes, following a suitable letter structure.
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