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Band 5

One of the major issues facing the world today is overpopulation. What problems arise from this situation? What measures can be taken to deal with this?

#world #overpopulation #situation #measures
Nowadays, overpopulation is one of the biggest
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 in many
countries
.
This
 essay will discuss the negative issues associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
, and
also
 what can be done to solve it. There are two main drawbacks related to the increase in population. One of these is that there is not enough
food
 to support the current amount of people around the world. It is well known that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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food
production
 in many
countries
 does not have
capacity
Change the article
the capacity
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 to increase.
For instance
, we already have states in Brazil where the
food
 supply does not support the demand.
Furthermore
,
energy
 is
also
 a huge problem when talking about overpopulation. The world is short in supply of fossil
energy
.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Europe
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 passing through an energetic crisis since the beginning of the century.
However
, there are some possible solutions for those statements. Agriculture is facing a new era of technology, and the efficiency of
food
production
 is growing fast.
For instance
, we already have available technology to duplicate de
production
 of cereal farms.
Moreover
, green
energy
 has been an option for those
countries
 that do not have other energetic alternatives.
For example
, wind and solar
energy
 are becoming very popular in
countries
 like India, where the population is growing fast, and they do not have traditional options
of
Change preposition
for
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energy
 supply. In conclusion, the lack of
food
 and
energy
 are the main downsides of increasing in population.
Nevertheless
, we already have
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
 to help
the
Correct article usage
apply
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farmers enhance their
production
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
green
energy
 is becoming an alternative in many
countries
.
Submitted by lucasb7z on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that all aspects of the task are addressed. In this essay, you mentioned the negative issues of overpopulation but did not discuss the specific problems that arise. Additionally, provide a thesis statement in your introduction to make your main point clear.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are some areas where the coherence could be improved. Make sure that your ideas are well-developed and supported with evidence.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate and effectively conveys your meaning. However, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay. Additionally, pay attention to word choice and ensure that your expressions are precise.
Grammatical Range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are a few instances where errors or awkward phrasing occur. Review your essay for grammatical mistakes and pay attention to verb agreement and sentence structure.

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