Some people spend a lot of money attending cultural or sports events. Is it a good thing or bad thing? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience

#people #money #sports #events

Nowadays,

money

is important to

support

some activities,

such

as attending cultural and sporting events.

People

spend a lot of

money

to satisfy their needs, which makes them happy and allows them to enjoy their lives. They manage the

money

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their needs. In my opinion, I personally agree with

this

view because

people

need to get what they need, and I will explore more about

this

view. On the one hand, attending a cultural

event

is not cheap, especially if you are located far away from an urban city. Some

people

attending the cultural

event

have some reason to want to have new experiences.

For example

people

want to attend a local dance by

inhibitant

Correct your spelling

inhabitant

locals in Bali, which is far away from the capital city. The local dance gives them attraction with the creative equipment, which makes

people

feel happy and comfortable. So, spending

money

to attend the local cultural

event

is equal to their contribution to their lives. The other reason

people

spend the

money

to attend the sports

event

is that they are fans of their club when they have a competition and want to see the play. The ticket and equipment are quite expensive, so we need to have a plan or manage the

money

support

this

For instance

, the shoes and shorts to

support

their club are not cheap, so as a community based on

this

club, we should

support

each other. In sum, with

this

statement, I totally agree with

people

who are attending the local cultural and sporting events who have a plan and manage their

money

support

these activities.

This

also

makes

people

feel happy and enjoy their passion activities.

Submitted by nazhif27 on Sat Oct 28 2023

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task response

The essay demonstrates good task response with a clear opinion and relevant examples. However, make sure to address both the positive and negative aspects of spending money on cultural and sporting events.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a logical structure, but needs improvement in transitioning between ideas and paragraphs. Try using more cohesive devices to connect the ideas more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people spend a lot of money attending cultural or sports events. Is it a good thing or bad thing? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience

Fully explain your ideas

the main reasons for immigration and emmigration in the uk in 2007

Compared to the past, more people are now studying abroad because it is more convenient and cheaper than before. Do you think this is beneficial to the foreign student’s home country?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. .