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Writing Samples
Band 8

People born today can expect to live longer than people in previous generations. What are some of the positive and negative implications of this phenomenon? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#people #generations #implications #phenomenon #minutes
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childbirths these times have high expectations to live longer than individuals who were born in former generations.
This
 phenomenon has many advantages and disadvantages, one of the pros is that people can live longer and achieve more goals,
in contrast
, one of the drawbacks is that individuals who have diseases may suffer because the technology lets them live longer. From my point of view,
this
 essay agrees with making people live longer.
Firstly
, citizens who are old commonly have targets to hit or want to travel the world,
therefore
, those who have lived for a long time would be glad of the technology which helps their health and gives them treatments.
For instance
, a study conducted a decade ago, illustrating the main cause of living at a longer age than in the past, said that many devices in hospitals and new techniques of medicine have evolved which led to longer ages for many old individuals.
Additionally
, environmental society helps grandparents' health and clear their mind
such
 as observing space or seas,
furthermore
, many technological devices have superior competence rather than previous decades and centuries which can reduce carbon emissions. To illustrate, research demonstrated that nowadays the environment improved enormously,
on the other hand
, people who lived in the past were struggling from the factories and carbon emissions.
To sum up
, it admitted that living longer can be a negative aspect,
however
, the incentives outweigh the downsides,
in addition
, the enhancements in hospitals and the environment show that devices can affect residents' lives.
Submitted by bajahzar90 on

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task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clear and well-explained. Some sentences are slightly confusing and could be clearer.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to reinforce your points and illustrate the implications more concretely.
coherence cohesion
Consider beginning paragraphs with strong topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
You have presented both positive and negative implications of the trend within your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has clear introduction and conclusion sections, which provide a good framework for your argument.
coherence cohesion
The main points of the essay are supported with some logical reasoning and understanding of the topic's implications.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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