Throughout the history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agree how the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think to make a perfect society? How do people do to achieving an ideal society?

Most people in the world have a dream to live in an ideal society and lead a happy meaningful life.
, they do not have the same idea about what a perfect civilization would look like. I personally think that there are two indicators that can measure the perfection of a society in the modern world: proper infrastructure and employment opportunity.
essay discusses these factors and the ways to achieve that ideal association followed by examples.
, a perfect community must possess robust infrastructure and efficient services to meet the fundamental needs of its inhabitants. Take folks living in Melbourne as an example, Melbourne is claimed as the most livable city in the world and the citizens can be classified as living an ideal way of life.
city boasts a multitude of modern foundation elements, including state-of-the-art public health centres, schools, bus stops, and various other essential facilities.
, the city offers excellent services at the airport and local government offices. These optimal conditions are made possible when citizens consistently pay their taxes and adhere to the established regulations. Tax revenue serves as a valuable resource for developing sophisticated public facilities. When the community follows these regulations, they can expect high-quality sustenance for its residents.
, An ideal community requires an ample number of job opportunities to cater for the demands of its people. Adequate job prospects provide individuals with a satisfactory income and the promise of a promising career. Take Los Angeles,
for instance
, where the majority of the population dedicates a significant portion of their time to work and enjoys favourable financial conditions.
a scenario can be established within a society if its citizens are encouraged to become entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurship opens up new employment avenues, ultimately reducing unemployment rates and fostering economic growth. In conclusion, a perfect civilization must possess comprehensive infrastructure, essential servings, and ample employment opportunities.
condition can be cultivated through tax contributions, policy compliance, and the creation of job opportunities by entrepreneurs.
Submitted by xiaoruoling7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Writing fluency
When writing, it's crucial to ensure your essay is logically structured. This means ideas should flow smoothly from one to the next, and there should be a clear progression. Your essay had a clear logical flow and argument which is excellent. Keep it up.
Start your introduction effectively to engage the reader and end with a solid conclusion summarizing your position. Your essay showed you have a good understanding of this with excellent intro and conclusion. Well done.
Supporting Evidence
Argument points should be supported with relevant examples or reasons. While you did this satisfactorily, try to give even more robust examples to put your point across more clearly.
Task Response
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task, providing a complete perspective on the topic. You did this incredibly well, completing the task as the question asked.
Presentation of Ideas
It's key to present clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Your ideas were well-explained and easy to understand. Keep up the good work.
Usage of Examples
Remember to bolster your argument and essay with plentiful and varied examples. You did this well, using examples from real-world cases. Continue to do so in your future essays.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion: you agree or disagree? you think...?...your opinion...?

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: