Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
It is commonly accepted that some
children
and teenagers use their phones for hours each day. Use synonyms
This
, in my opinion, results from social Linking Words
media
platforms' exceptional ability to keep users' attention. It should be viewed as a negative development because it can be harmful to Use synonyms
children
's mental health.
Social Use synonyms
media
algorithms are extremely good at providing people with Use synonyms
content
that holds their attention. They track user behavior like search history and engagement and use machine learning to analyze the data gathered. Use synonyms
This
process allows them to offer users an endless stream of postings optimized to keep their interest. Since Linking Words
children
tend to lack self-control, they may be unable to resist Use synonyms
such
personalized Linking Words
content
and wind up wasting too much time on their phones.
Unfortunately, hours of phone time every day can harm Use synonyms
children
's mental health. Perfectly filtered pictures and staged videos on social Use synonyms
media
create an unrealistic world for Use synonyms
children
scrolling through their feeds. Consuming too much Use synonyms
content
like Use synonyms
this
may make them unhappy with who they are. Consider the body image issues that Instagram has caused in teenage girls. After seeing post after post of fitness influencers who appear to have perfect lives and bodies, some adolescent girls may find it very difficult to refrain from comparing themselves to those influencers. It is not surprising that so many start worrying about their physical attractiveness.
To recapitulate concerning all about facts we can clearly see some Linking Words
children
spend a large amount of time on their phones every day because social Use synonyms
media
constantly presents them with Use synonyms
content
designed to keep their attention. Sadly, Use synonyms
this
can take a toll on their mental health.Linking Words
Submitted by addaragelal on
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Task response
Try to work on your conclusion. It is generally meant to wrap up all the points discussed above with a brief summary without introducing any new information. Your conclusion went into excess details about your main ideas rather than simply summarizing your essay. Improve your conclusion by making it more concise, and taking a position without introducing new facts.
coherence and cohesion
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lexical resource
The range of vocabulary you demonstrated was generally acceptable. However, avoid repetition and redundancy in your words and phrases. Finding alternatives or synonyms for commonly-used words can improve your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is good as you displayed the correct usage of complex sentences, tenses, and punctuation. Meanwhile, focus on sentence structuring and avoiding mistakes with singular and plural forms. Always proofread your essay before submitting to avoid minor mistakes.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.