Many people believe that education and high qualification will bring success. Others think that it is not required to achieve success in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is certainly true that many individuals believe that
education
and qualification are of utmost importance for the pathway to success whereas
others think it is not required to prevail in life
. I have discussed both the
views and Correct article usage
apply
give
my opinion below.
Wrong verb form
given
Firstly
, education
is very necessary to understand everything. It brings respect to your name. Furthermore
, an educated person gets good job opportunities. They also
have good communication and cognitive skills. It helps in the overall
development of his or her mental, social and physical life
. Secondly
, they benefit from critical thinking, problem-solving, and intellectual growth. These skills help the person gain many degrees and credibility for their
knowledge.
However
, it is not compulsory in life
. There are many individuals around the world who have become millionaires and billionaires by creating websites and sites that are extremely profitable and helpful to the
society. They have attained great success without the proper amount of Correct article usage
apply
education
. Moreover
, they rely on their mind work, thoughts, innovation and practical experience. They have financial barriers too, but that doesn't stop them from achieving great heights. For example
, the CEO of Google, Sundar Pichai, was never given a proper education
. He was born into a very poor family but with the thought of developing a solution to a problem people have been facing for years, he created Google. As of now, around 850 million users use Google every day and Sundar Pichai's net worth is over a billion dollars. There are more people around the world who have succeeded in life
without formal education
.
In my opinion, education
is not necessary for anyone to become wealthy and respected in life
. A person without education
can develop anything extremely valuable to the world through his imagination and will.
In conclusion, while
education
and high qualifications can significantly contribute to an individual's success, they are not the sole determinants.Submitted by ahv on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring a smoother flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This can be done by using more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the essay.
task achievement
The essay could be more comprehensive if more depth and complexity were added to each argument. Try to elaborate on the points with specific details or additional examples to strengthen the response.
task achievement
Ensure that all examples provided are factually accurate. For instance, the mentioned example of Sundar Pichai is not accurate as he did receive a proper education. Consider using correct examples to improve the credibility and relevance of your arguments.
task achievement
The essay covers both views of the topic, fulfilling the task requirements effectively.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in providing a complete response to the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
The language is generally clear and ideas are expressed in a straightforward manner, making it easy to understand.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.