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Band 4

Nowadays there is more and more competition between older and younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this create? How can they be solved?

#competition #people #jobs #create
World
Correct article usage
The world
show examples
 population is increasing rapidly day by day which
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
resulted
Add the preposition
resulted in
resulted from
show examples
competition
 in the
job
sectors
. Both young and old
people
 are competing for
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 position
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
job
 opportunities.
This
 module aimed to discuss about
concequences
Correct your spelling
consequences
 of
this
 huge
competition
 and possible
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to overcome these problems. During
20th
Change the article
the 20th
show examples
 century population of the world
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 growing
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a high rate but
job
sectors
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 not expanding like
this
 which
play
Wrong verb form
played
show examples
 a significant
affect
Replace the word
effect
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
job
sectors
.
For example
, in Bangladesh
people
 are growing old but
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can not ensure a secure
job
.
For
this
 reason, young and old
people
 are competing for the same
job
 which
resulted
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
 imbalance in
this
 sector. Young
people
 are facing
threat
Fix the agreement mistake
threats
show examples
 in the
job
 sector
due to
 lack of experience.
In addition
, owing to high
competition
 in
job
sectors
 it
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 mental stress and
frastration
Correct your spelling
frustration
frustrations
 among freshers which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to health problems.
As well as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they become demotivated in higher education and most of them distract from their track.
Furthermore
,
due to
 high
competition
Add a comma
competition,
show examples
 it create a brain drain from native country to developed countries.
As a result
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries experience
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
high skill
Add a hyphen
high-skill
show examples
 workers. These problems
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a great threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a country so it is needed to find
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
possible solutions. First of all,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 of the country need to create
job
sectors
 to remove unemployment and huge
competition
 in
job
sectors
.
As well as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they
also
 need to motivate freshers to become an entrepreneur which will
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 role in
job
Add an article
the job
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 market by opening new opportunities.
To sum up
,
competition
 in
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 market
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
remove
Wrong verb form
be removed
show examples
 totally but it is needed for the government to open new possibilities for the
up comming
Correct your spelling
upcoming
job
 seekers.
Submitted by sakhayathossenkiron38 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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