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Writing Samples
Band 6

These days huge portions of population are moving from rural areas to urban areas.Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

#portions #population #areas #trend
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These days
people
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 tend to migrate from their rural areas to cities and leave their homes behind.
This
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 trend has become popular and has become a negative trend since it affects many
people
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 in society pretty badly. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why it offers more negative.
Firstly
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, cities have a stereotype that whoever works very hard will have the same opportunity to become successful.
This
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 myth is immensely false and contradicts what they have been told,
hence
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 what happens in the real condition is too sad to be told.
For example
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, many high-salary job vacancies require high skill to be admitted.
Moreover
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, low-skilled jobs are not that easy to get since tons of
people
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 fight to get admitted.
Hence
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,
people
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 are getting poorer making the
city
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 occupied with low-class society.
Secondly
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, the
city
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 has a huge disparity in living costs compared to rural areas. A
city
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 is known as a place where
people
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 are required to have a glamorous lifestyle if they want to be accepted in society. Most
people
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 will find financial difficulties to adapt with
this
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 lifestyle,
hence
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 they take huge loans which are out of their capacity to repay the instalment.
For instance
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, many migrants who just stayed for months without jobs will take illegal loans just to survive.
As a result
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, many jobless migrants become homeless and become government burdens. In conclusion, the
city
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 is the place where
people
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 are allowed to dream as wild as they can, but to be successful in the
city
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,
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apply
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 requires skills and competency to adapt. Migrating to the
city
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 is not always the best option,
otherwise
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 developing rural areas sometimes offer more opportunities since only a few
people
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 compete in
this
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 area.
Submitted by shirokuade on

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task response
Expand on the reasons why migrating to cities is a negative trend.
coherence cohesion
Provide clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the quality of the essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration
  • urbanization
  • positive trend
  • negative trend
  • economic opportunities
  • infrastructure
  • services
  • standard of living
  • overcrowding
  • strained resources
  • pollution
  • environmental problems
  • rural livelihoods
  • culture
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