IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others love the lifestyles in countries with cold climates. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #climates #love #lifestyles #countries
Nowadays, there are two distinct tastes of climate. The first taste is that some proportion of people live in hot climates and others prefer to spend their daily routine in areas with icy temperatures.
According to
this
 statement, I am going to discuss both options and demonstrate my viewpoints below.
To begin
 with, in hot seasons, there are many popular sports activities to get busy with, because you can freely play on
vary
Replace the word
various
show examples
soccer
 fields or other athletic grounds. Despite the fact that everyone can play
soccer
, tennis and basketball in indoor spaces during the winter, in
warm
Add an article
the warm
a warm
show examples
 atmosphere outside, organisms and mind can be affected positively, as it connects with natural land.
For instance
, during a
soccer
 competition for the university in cold temperatures, I was playing on the Indoor field, and I could not feel comfy, because the gates that
surrounding
Wrong verb form
surrounded
show examples
 me, were giving me
effect
Add an article
the effect
show examples
 of pressure and frustration. As regards the freezy climate, the majority of people in my country are in favour of winter,
due to
 their allergic symptoms to the grasses, sun, flora and fauna. Allergies - are the main reason why many people hate summer
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because during
this
 season many plant families come up and affect folk’s organisms as biologically they carry sort of hurting properties. In my view, I prefer the summer season, just because I do not have any allergies to natural plants,
also
iam
Correct your spelling
I am
 a huge fan of
soccer
.
To sum up
, everyone has their own positions whether choosing cold or hot climates. In hot conditions, you connect with nature by doing some sports,
otherwise
, in cold conditions, you can be apart from summer allergies.
Submitted by kozhantaevisa on

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task response
Make sure to address all aspects of the task prompt. In this essay, you have discussed the preferences for hot and cold climates, but you could elaborate more on the lifestyle aspect mentioned in the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. While you have presented two main points, the development of ideas could be improved by providing more evidence and examples.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and precise. Try to use a variety of synonyms and descriptive words to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve the overall clarity of your writing. Review your essay for any errors in subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and sentence formation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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