IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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There has been a great tendency among
city
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 planners to design each section
such
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 as shops, offices, schools, and homes in a certain region, where they can be separate from other areas. I take into account
this
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 phenomenon as a beneficial plan because it gives a well-organized outline to the
city
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 which can be innovative and unique. On the one hand, if we differentiate between specific parts of the
city
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, it will be monotonous with dull arrangement. The beauty of a
city
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 can be deciphered by a variety of bazaars, houses, and companies beside each other.
for example
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, with the development of industrialization, high-rise buildings were the only places that people were encouraged to live, far apart from other areas, which had a detrimental impact on their mental well-being and people were enraged by these boring and same houses.
However
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, architectural innovation can help to combine regularity with various forms of planning that can give a harmonious and congruent look to the
city
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.
On the other hand
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, separated areas from each other gives a regular pattern to the
city
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 that on the whole, demonstrates a sense of peace and harmony.
moreover
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, if someone going to go to a special store and needs some tools, they exactly know where should find them.
therefore
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, regularity and being well-organized make life convenient for people and ameliorate the business.
for instance
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, in some European cities,
such
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 as Paris and Rome, business,
theater
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theatre
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, or financial districts are separated creatively which makes transporting more convenient for citizens and tourists. all in all, having a well-organized approach to design can give a splendid outlook to the
city
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. In conclusion,
although
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 dividing a
city
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 into different parts can be looked mundane,
city
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-building approaches have developed and with innovative plans, I think the benefits of
this
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 mindset exceed its drawbacks.

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task response
Make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of arranging shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas. You have mainly focused on the advantages in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which is good. However, try to provide a more concise and stronger thesis statement that clearly states your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good use of vocabulary and a variety of sentence structures. However, consider using more academic and formal vocabulary to enhance the overall lexical resource.
grammatical range
You have a good command of grammar with only a few minor errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage for a more accurate grammatical range.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • spatial organization
  • urban sprawl
  • economic development
  • congestion
  • efficient land use
  • noise pollution
  • mitigating
  • amenities
  • reliance on vehicles
  • commute times
  • socioeconomic groups
  • diversity
  • sense of community
  • mixed-use spaces
  • sustainable urban lifestyles
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