IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is immense ‎pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing ‎pollution. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.‎

#people #cars #cities #‎pollution #waste #industries #ones
Nowadays
people
 believe that the
number
 increases of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 in
hometown
Correct pronoun usage
their hometown
show examples
 is immense pollution and waste and others think that factories are one of the most cause
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 into the
environment
.
This
 essay will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 both views.
Firstly
,
Car
Fix the agreement mistake
Cars
show examples
 contribute to traffic congestion on over the world.
Although
 it
Add a missing verb
is convinient
show examples
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 to
transportation
Replace the word
transport
show examples
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the
number
 of harmful gases
emit
Change the form of the verb
emitted
show examples
 into the
environment
 is too much.
Such
 as,
indeed
Rephrase
apply
show examples
" rush hour" students and workers are
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 large cause
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 traffic jams and the amount of toxic gasses
had
Verb problem
apply
show examples
releases
Change the verb form
released
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the air
also
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
global warming. Industries emit harmful gases and pollutants
curently
Correct your spelling
currently
 more and more
serious
Change the word
seriously
show examples
. Many plants are establishing higher than in the past, it's not controlled
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of toxic gases
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
atmospheres
Fix the agreement mistake
atmosphere
show examples
 and the
number
 of
emission
Change to a plural noun
emissions
show examples
 increasing more and more.
For example
,
curently
Correct your spelling
currently
 other factories
are face
Change the verb form
are faced
show examples
 with pollution in the world and China is one of the most
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 emit pollution into the
environment
 in the world
than
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and they have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 method to
dealing
Wrong verb form
deal
show examples
 with
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
. In my opinion, both of them
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 to
environment
 . We should plant more and more trees to demand O2
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
people
 and
it's prevent
Change the verb form
it prevents
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 when
wheather
Correct your spelling
weather
whether
 alternated bad.
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
issues are congestion
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
 living and reduced gas
emit
Wrong verb form
emitted
show examples
 into
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is
Correct your spelling
successful
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 for
people
Submitted by gipphi147 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban congestion
  • air quality
  • emission standards
  • greenhouse gases
  • carbon footprint
  • toxic emissions
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • clean technology
  • public health concerns
  • mitigation strategies
  • noise pollution
  • renewable energy
  • electric vehicles
  • industrial waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: