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Band 1

Fast food is becoming one part of life everywhere, this has bad effects on our lifestyle and diet. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#food #part #life #effects #lifestyle #diet
Fast
food
 has become a part of everyone's life. I agree with its bad effects on our lifestyle and diet, as it is leading to major health issues. Youngsters these days are more prone to eating junk
food
 and avoiding
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
food
 because of the easy availability, taste of the
food
 and social media exposure.
Firstly
 it has many
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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health issues leading to
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 life expectancy because of the taste of the
food
 and
availability
Correct pronoun usage
its availability
show examples
 it's consumption has become more.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
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 it has more of the sugars and carbohydrates causing heart diseases, obesity, diabetes etc. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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 I strongly agree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
 the disadvantages outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 as
pre cooked
Add a hyphen
pre-cooked
show examples
food
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has an impact on health causing obesity, diabetics etc and many
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
show examples
.
Submitted by noorainfatima135 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that is directly related to the main topic of the essay. Use linking devices to connect ideas and create a smooth flow of information throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide a more thorough explanation of the argument and provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help make your ideas clearer and more convincing.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a variety of words and phrases to express your ideas. This will make your essay more engaging and show a higher level of language proficiency.
grammatical range
Pay attention to the grammatical accuracy of your sentences. Review grammar rules and practice forming correct sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proliferation
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Caloric intake
  • Addictive
  • Nutritional deficit
  • Culinary traditions
  • Healthcare expenditure
  • Immediate gratification
  • Lifestyle diseases
  • Homogenization
  • Processed foods
What to do next:
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