Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

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There is an increased number of
health
problems caused by
stress
in society nowadays.
This
essay
will examine the main causes of
stress
-related illness and possible solutions to
this
problem
. In my opinion,
stress
-related problems are caused by longer working hours and decreasing social
activities
.
This
essay
will
also
suggest two solutions to
this
problem
including encouraging work-life balance and joining a community. In
this
era, many
people
work for a longer
time
and
also
can not do many social
activities
. Since the free
time
that one has is limited, they do not have any
time
to exercise or join in any social
activities
.
For instance
, one of my co-workers had a
problem
with his heart and needed to go to a psychiatrist
due to
his bad habit which never exercising and never sharing his
problem
with anyone.
Thus
, the condition showed us that imbalanced habits between work and social
activities
can cause
health
problems. Encouraging
people
to have a work-life balance
also
joining in some communities can help them minimize their
stress
so that will not impact their bodies. If they can spare their
time
to exercise or have quality
time
with their friends, they will be healthier
also
happier.
For example
, many students in school do not have any
stress
-related sickness because they regularly do sports
activities
in school and have
time
to play with their friends.
Therefore
, in order to lower
health
issues that are caused by
stress
,
people
need to use their
time
wisely. In conclusion,
health
issues caused by
stress
have grown rapidly among many
people
recently.
This
essay
discussed how
stress
is often caused by long working hours and minuscule
time
for social
activities
.
This
essay
also
suggested that the solutions to the
problem
are to manage work-life balance and to join in some communities.
Submitted by idn20221109 on

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task response
Make sure to clearly address all parts of the prompt and provide a comprehensive response. Expand on the causes and elaboration on the solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a consistent logical structure throughout the essay. Add a clearer thesis statement and a more definitive conclusion.
lexical resource
Diversify your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language to express your ideas. Expand your range of vocabulary related to stress and health problems.
grammatical range
Work on minimizing grammatical errors and sentence structure. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and word order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • stress-related illnesses
  • hypertension
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • modern lifestyle
  • work pressure
  • technological advancements
  • social pressures
  • material wealth
  • work-life balance
  • mindfulness
  • meditation
  • stress management
  • flexible working hours
  • telecommuting
  • mandatory vacation
  • educational programs
  • mental health
  • supportive work environment
  • counseling services
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