IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people think saving money is good,but others think that spending money is a better way to enjoy life.

#people #money #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Opinions diverge when it comes to the question of which
approach
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 spending
money
Use synonyms
 ensures
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 certain individuals advocate
for
Change preposition
that
show examples
 saving
money
Use synonyms
 is beneficial as it gives a way out of uncertainties of
life
Use synonyms
 and provides a quality
life
Use synonyms
, as opposing perspective emphasizes the significance of spending
money
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 pleasurable way to enjoy
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore both perspectives and present my own viewpoint. I firmly support the notion that saving
money
Use synonyms
 is a better
approach
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 viewpoint is substantiated
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 several compelling points. The viewpoint
advocate
Change the verb form
advocates
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 spending
money
Use synonyms
, often championed by
crowd
Add an article
the crowd
a crowd
show examples
 is not without merit. It certainly offers a superior lifestyle and spending
money
Use synonyms
 on experiences with loved ones, is worthless. People who prefer to save
money
Use synonyms
, prefer to not enjoy
life
Use synonyms
, not live
life
Use synonyms
, but just survive. Keeping
money
Use synonyms
 in the bank account
while
Linking Words
 working is not the ideal way to live, and it prevents
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 from comprehending the real meaning of
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is not possible to know whether someone is granted a long or short existence, and
consequently
Linking Words
, whether there is or not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
possibility to enjoy the
money
Use synonyms
 that has been saved up. IC have known many people in my country, who spent most of their existence giving up holidays or other pleasant moments in order to keep a significant sum for the years of retirement.
Then
Linking Words
 they fell ill before that time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they lost the opportunity to really enjoy
life
Use synonyms
. Paradoxically the concept of saving
money
Use synonyms
 is
relatively
Add an article
a relatively
show examples
 practical
approach
Use synonyms
, and it has been ardently endorsed by people from various spheres of
life
Use synonyms
. The efficacy of
this
Linking Words
approach
Use synonyms
 cannot be denied at any cost on practical
ground
Fix the agreement mistake
grounds
show examples
. Putting aside a sum of
money
Use synonyms
 systematically
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can help you steer out of many hurdles and obstacles in
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, recently in the USA
due to
Linking Words
 the job recession, individuals faced a lot of financial problems,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 folks
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 survived out those who saved
money
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 both stances have their own feasibility and viability, I believe that saving
money
Use synonyms
 is purely a beneficial and practical
approach
Use synonyms
. And
therefore
Linking Words
,
opponents
Change noun form
opponents'
opponent's
show examples
 idea is
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 absurd and less practical in its original context.
Submitted by mwadood82 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states both perspectives on the topic and provides a clear thesis statement.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and avoid errors in grammar and punctuation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial stability
  • Security
  • Freedom
  • Pursue dreams and goals
  • Emergency funds
  • Experiences
  • Enjoyment
  • Quality of life
  • Improving
  • Purchases
  • Supporting
  • Economy
  • Creating jobs
  • Balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: