Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, getting old is much different than before.
Number
of Change the article
A number
The number
people
assume that being an
Correct article usage
apply
elder
in the present world is totally bad, Replace the word
elderly
while
others argue the oppisite
seeing it more better than Correct your spelling
opposite
older
days, i Change preposition
in older
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
partialy
agree with the previous opinion for several reasons Correct your spelling
partially
partial
i
will explain Change the capitalization
I
it
in the following pragraphs.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Firstly
, getting older these days makes you neglected by humans. once the
Correct article usage
apply
people
reach to
a particular age their productivity normally Change preposition
apply
getting
lower. Wrong verb form
gets
Due to
the speed of changes in the present world, it needs a
constant work to have a value Remove the article
apply
makes
Correct pronoun usage
that makes
people
depending
on them. Wrong verb form
depend
for example
, after old people
retirement
, they lose Replace the word
retire
alot
of Correct your spelling
a lot
people
because
Add the preposition
because of
the
lack of Correct article usage
a
interests
. Fix the agreement mistake
interest
In addition
to
, they could Change preposition
apply
suffering
from Wrong verb form
suffer
lonliness
at some times Correct your spelling
loneliness
due to
, the busy
of their known Replace the word
busyness
people
.
On the other hand
, there is a numerous of
advantages Change preposition
apply
for
being an elder in the modern world. Change preposition
to
Firstly
, the
Correct article usage
apply
life
have
been more easier than Change the verb form
has
befor
for old Correct your spelling
before
people
, due to
, new technology and easy communication. For instance
, now they can call their sons or even their friends at any time in
their phone not just that, they can see each Change preposition
on
others
on it without Change to a singular noun
other
move
. Wrong verb form
moving
Moreover
, the improvement in health cares
these days is much better than Correct subject-verb agreement
care
befor
, which Correct your spelling
before
conduct
Verb problem
results
to
, Change preposition
in
more
resting Correct article usage
a more
life
for them.
In conclusion, although
, being old in modern life
could be harsh for a few individuals, it has a lot of cons that makes
Change the verb form
make
the
Correct article usage
apply
life
more easier and enjoyable for them from my prespective
.Correct your spelling
perspective
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task response
Provide a more balanced discussion of both views instead of being partially agree with one opinion. You can present the advantages and disadvantages of getting old in the modern world.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. These paragraphs should provide a brief overview of the discussion and your opinion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise words and phrases to convey your ideas. This will enhance the overall quality of your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar. Try to vary your sentence length and use complex structures to demonstrate your language proficiency.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.