People should look after their health as a duty to the society where they live, rather than for their own benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #health #duty #society

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It is sometimes argued that each individual should take care of their physical condition

instead

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of their own profits in order to take responsibility for

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society. Personally, I completely agree that minding our own health to enhance the general public would be a good idea.

Firstly

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, it can be said with certainty that it would be a motivation to improve community healthcare life. By

this

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, I mean that the population maintain both physical and mental strength, which leads to a reduction in the risk of obesity and related health issues.

Secondly

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, having a fit body would help them feel comfortable and energetic when doing social activities.

Finally

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, joining a team sport allows us to improve important skills,

such

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as communication and cooperation, which would link the community together. I believe that when each person knew how to take care of themselves, it would benefit the government in the financial aspect and provide more opportunities to grow the country. The main basis is probably because the government would spend less money

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preventing and curing illness if citizens could handle and tackle their well-being problems.

Consequently

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, the funds of the government could be used for other purposes, like lifting out of poverty and investing in technological development. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the advantages of being responsible for our own fitness would benefit the society in

the

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positive way.

Submitted by miatr.work on Sun Oct 29 2023

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task response

Provide a clear thesis statement that directly answers the question.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the organization of your essay to ensure a logical flow of ideas.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas.

grammatical range

Make sure to vary your sentence structures and use more complex grammatical structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

230 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

duty
well-being
burden
healthcare systems
productive
economy
example
empower
informed choices

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People should look after their health as a duty to the society where they live, rather than for their own benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss and give opinion.