Peoples believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness. Others believe that different factors of people’s life influence happiness. Discuss both views. State your opinion

#peoples #individuals #happiness #factors #people’s #life #influence

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no denying the fact that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

happiness

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

While

Linking Words

it is a commonly held belief that

people

Use synonyms

are responsible for their

happiness

Use synonyms

, there is

also

Linking Words

an argument that there are reasons that make

people

Use synonyms

's life

unhappiness

Replace the word

unhappy

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss

this

Linking Words

topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, individuals are responsible for their

happiness

Use synonyms

whenever and wherever

thay

Correct your spelling

they

are.

In other words

Linking Words

happiness

Use synonyms

does not depend on other things

such

Linking Words

as family state , and work environment .

In addition

Linking Words

happiness

Use synonyms

depend

Change the verb form

depends

show examples

in satisfy

Change preposition

on satisfying

show examples

and

live

Wrong verb form

living

show examples

with conditions and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

beyond just

moeny

Correct your spelling

money

For example

Linking Words

, if a person wakes up and

said

Wrong verb form

says

show examples

' I am happy today ' , he will be happy all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

day even if he has debts and family problems.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are numerous factors that influence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

's life. It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that family circumstances and

stress

Correct article usage

the stress

show examples

of work play a crucial role

to feel

Change preposition

in feeling

show examples

unhappy.

Moreover

Linking Words

funds condition

Fix the agreement mistake

fund conditions

show examples

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

, since they will think

how

Change preposition

about how

show examples

to finish it daily.

For instance

Linking Words

, there are

statstics

Correct your spelling

statistics

that conducted by the Ministry of

Helath

Correct your spelling

Health

in Saudi Arabia which explain that 60

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

depreession

Correct your spelling

depression

patients have had major problems. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

Linking Words

question. On balance ,

however

Linking Words

, I tend to believe that family, work , and society in

people

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

influence

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

feel happy.

Submitted by fatemah221027 on Sun Oct 29 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Ensure that all parts of the essay prompt are addressed and provide a clear opinion on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas and the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Lexical Resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions.

Grammatical Range

Work on improving the range and complexity of sentence structures.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people believe holding sports events are too expensive, such as olympic games,and the world cup. But others think in opponent way. Discuss both opinion, and give your own view.
Hosting International tournaments such as the Olympic games and the World Cup costs a fortune to organize these days. While some individuals opined that they are too costly, others have the opposite view. However, I think holding such peacekeeping and unifying competitions is not a mere waste of money as they are important in creating inter-border bonding, and this essay will consider both views.
5
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Living in a nation which requires you to communicate by a language other than your mother tongue can cause both tremendous social problems and practical problems to a person. In my opinion, I will agree with this opinion if there are some requirements attached to it.
6
band
The impact of social media has increased tremendously in people’s lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.
In recent times, while proponents have a point of view that communication through media platforms has become important, opponents have the opposite opinion of limiting the use of social media. Moreover, social media makes people’s lives easier by letting them know friends’ news immediately. I agree with the first opinion on the positive impact of social media on our lifestyle.
5
band
Living in a foreign country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is no denying that social and practical issues could be raised when people are not a native speaker of the nation they live in. I firmly agree with this idea that speaking foreign languages could potentially lead to a variety of real-life difficulties. In the following essay, I’m going to outline the reason behind my opinion on this thesis.
6
band
Despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages without these skills? And What actions should governments take?
The main focus of education is catering to the exam-oriented education system, resulting in numerous individuals lacking reading and written abilities. It embarked the public awareness and the relevant administrative department should shoulder the responsibility of addressing these problems.

Peoples believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness. Others believe that different factors of people’s life influence happiness. Discuss both views. State your opinion

Word Count

Some people believe holding sports events are too expensive, such as olympic games,and the world cup. But others think in opponent way. Discuss both opinion, and give your own view.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The impact of social media has increased tremendously in people’s lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.

Living in a foreign country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages without these skills? And What actions should governments take?