Peoples believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness. Others believe that different factors of people’s life influence happiness. Discuss both views. State your opinion

#peoples #individuals #happiness #factors #people’s #life #influence

There is no denying the fact that

happiness

people

's lives.

While

it is a commonly held belief that

people

are responsible for their

happiness

, there is

also

an argument that there are reasons that make

people

's life unhappy.

This

essay will discuss

this

topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, individuals are responsible for their

happiness

whenever and wherever they are.

In other words

happiness

does not depend on other things

such

as family state , and work environment .

In addition

happiness

depends on satisfying and living with conditions

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

beyond just money.

For example

, if a person wakes up and said I am happy today , he will be happy all day even if he has debts and family problems.

On the other hand

, there are numerous factors that influence

people

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. It is

also

possible to say that family circumstances and the stress of work play a crucial role in feeling unhappy.

Moreover

, fund conditions affect

people

, since they will think

how

Change preposition

about how

show examples

to finish it daily.

For instance

, there are statistics

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

conducted by the Ministry of Health in Saudi Arabia which explain that 60 per cent of depression patients have had major problems. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

question. On balance ,

however

, I tend to believe that family, work , and society in

people

's lives influence them to feel happy.

Submitted by fatemah221027 on Sun Oct 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction should clearly state both views and your opinion. Also, it should provide a roadmap of what will be discussed in the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more varied language. Avoid repetition.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your sentence structures and grammar. Make sure your sentences are clear and error-free.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Peoples believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness. Others believe that different factors of people’s life influence happiness. Discuss both views. State your opinion

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future,nobody will buy printed paper or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

people believe that not all school children have the natural ability to learn a new language. this means it is not right to force all a school children to study a foreign language. do you agree or disagree?

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.

The school library is seeking applicants for a job over summer break. Write a letter to the library’s manager, in your letter include: – A brief introduction of yourself – Your experience and relevant skills – Why you want the job

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rate. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?