Peoples believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness. Others believe that different factors of people’s life influence happiness. Discuss both views. State your opinion

#peoples #individuals #happiness #factors #people’s #life #influence

There is no denying the fact that

happiness

people

's lives.

While

it is a commonly held belief that

people

are responsible for their

happiness

, there is

also

an argument that there are reasons that make

people

's life unhappy.

This

essay will discuss

this

topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, individuals are responsible for their

happiness

whenever and wherever they are.

In other words

happiness

does not depend on other things

such

as family state , and work environment .

In addition

happiness

depends on satisfying and living with conditions

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

beyond just money.

For example

, if a person wakes up and said I am happy today , he will be happy all day even if he has debts and family problems.

On the other hand

, there are numerous factors that influence

people

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. It is

also

possible to say that family circumstances and the stress of work play a crucial role in feeling unhappy.

Moreover

, fund conditions affect

people

, since they will think

how

Change preposition

about how

show examples

to finish it daily.

For instance

, there are statistics

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

conducted by the Ministry of Health in Saudi Arabia which explain that 60 per cent of depression patients have had major problems. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

question. On balance ,

however

, I tend to believe that family, work , and society in

people

's lives influence them to feel happy.

Submitted by fatemah221027 on Sun Oct 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction should clearly state both views and your opinion. Also, it should provide a roadmap of what will be discussed in the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more varied language. Avoid repetition.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your sentence structures and grammar. Make sure your sentences are clear and error-free.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Peoples believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness. Others believe that different factors of people’s life influence happiness. Discuss both views. State your opinion

Word Count

Young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. Do you agree or disagree?

Some think that students must travel to another country in order to learn its language and customs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion?

These days, people work in more than one job , and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and diadvantages of this ?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the umber of older people. do the advantages of this situation outweight the disadvantages?