Children are experiencing increasing educational, social, and commercial pressures. what are the causes? what measures do you think can be taken to reduce them?

#children #pressures #measures

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Nowadays, many young

children

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are under tension and suffering from education, social, and markets. in

this

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essay, I will consider both causes and solutions for

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problem. On the one hand, parents play a crucial role In their

children

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's lives and their decisions because

children

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want to look up their families. Unfortunately, the majority of mothers and fathers who couldn't achieve their dreams,

such

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as their

favorite

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favourite

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jobs or status in society and better education, are stringent with their

children

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's school and lessons and expect them to gain the best scores and choose the majors they had dreamed. These expectations lead to nervous breakdowns and have ruined youths' mental health.

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, in my country, education at a good university converts to a big industry that promotes itself through adverts in media, TV, and schools.

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, parents are influenced by these advertisements of top universities and institutes easily. Another cause, which has deep negative effects on students is the educational system, when they come to school until they finish it. In many developing nations, when it is time for kids to learn literacy, schools don't try to realize each student's talents.

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this

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children

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stray off their way of life and they have to proceed with what society and their parents like.

On the other hand

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, how we can tackle

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circumstance? The government should hold some TV programs, and seminars and publish essays on

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issue so people are aware of the consequences of

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phenomenon.

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, schools had better consult every student and get them the right plan so that, they can gain what they like in the future and become a person who attempts their own aims, not others. If these measures are conducted, we will have a happier society with many experts who enjoy their jobs. In conclusion, families and states should care about the kids more and try to provide the best situation and facilities to develop learners' skills. they have to stop irrational requests and keep

children

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away from stress and anxiety.

Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on Sun Oct 29 2023

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task response

Ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed. In this essay, you discussed both the causes and solutions to the issue of increasing educational, social, and commercial pressures on children. However, the response could have been more comprehensive and provided more specific examples.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to the structure and organization of your essay to improve coherence and cohesion. While the logical structure is clear, the introduction and conclusion could have been stronger. Additionally, make sure to support your main points with sufficient evidence and examples.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to improve the lexical resource of your essay. Try to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the depth and clarity of your arguments.

grammatical range

Work on your grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve the grammatical range of your essay. Make sure to use proper grammar, punctuation, and sentence structures to effectively convey your ideas.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Pressures
Stress
Competition
Expectations
Peer influence
Technology
Media
Standardization
Balanced lifestyle
Extracurriculars
Education reform
Financial support

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Children are experiencing increasing educational, social, and commercial pressures. what are the causes? what measures do you think can be taken to reduce them?

in order to succeed, people require certain personality traits. what are these traits? what else is needed

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside for children is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places for children to grow up?