Children are experiencing increasing educational, social, and commercial pressures. what are the causes? what measures do you think can be taken to reduce them?
Nowadays, many young
children
are under tension and suffering from education, social, and markets. in this
essay, I will consider both causes and solutions for this
problem.
On the one hand, parents play a crucial role In their children
's lives and their decisions because children
want to look up their families. Unfortunately, the majority of mothers and fathers who couldn't achieve their dreams, such
as their favorite
jobs or status in society and better education, are stringent with their Change the spelling
favourite
children
's school and lessons and expect them to gain the best scores and choose the majors they had dreamed. These expectations lead to nervous breakdowns and have ruined youths' mental health. In addition
, in my country, education at a good university converts to a big industry that promotes itself through adverts in media, TV, and schools. Therefore
, parents are influenced by these advertisements of top universities and institutes easily. Another cause, which has deep negative effects on students is the educational system, when they come to school until they finish it. In many developing nations, when it is time for kids to learn literacy, schools don't try to realize each student's talents. Due to
this
, children
stray off their way of life and they have to proceed with what society and their parents like.
On the other hand
, how we can tackle this
circumstance? The government should hold some TV programs, and seminars and publish essays on this
issue so people are aware of the consequences of this
phenomenon. Furthermore
, schools had better consult every student and get them the right plan so that, they can gain what they like in the future and become a person who attempts their own aims, not others. If these measures are conducted, we will have a happier society with many experts who enjoy their jobs.
In conclusion, families and states should care about the kids more and try to provide the best situation and facilities to develop learners' skills. they have to stop irrational requests and keep children
away from stress and anxiety.Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on
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task response
Ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed. In this essay, you discussed both the causes and solutions to the issue of increasing educational, social, and commercial pressures on children. However, the response could have been more comprehensive and provided more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the structure and organization of your essay to improve coherence and cohesion. While the logical structure is clear, the introduction and conclusion could have been stronger. Additionally, make sure to support your main points with sufficient evidence and examples.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to improve the lexical resource of your essay. Try to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the depth and clarity of your arguments.
grammatical range
Work on your grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve the grammatical range of your essay. Make sure to use proper grammar, punctuation, and sentence structures to effectively convey your ideas.