Children are experiencing increasing educational, social, and commercial pressures. what are the causes? what measures do you think can be taken to reduce them?

Nowadays, many young
children
Use synonyms
are under
tension
Check wording
stress
show examples
and suffering from education, social, and
markets
Fix the agreement mistake
market
show examples
.
Check wording
pressures.
show examples
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
essay, I will consider both causes and solutions for
this
Linking Words
problem. On the one hand, parents play a crucial role
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
their
children
Use synonyms
's lives and their decisions because
children
Use synonyms
want to look up
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
families. Unfortunately, the majority of mothers and fathers who couldn't achieve their dreams,
such
Linking Words
as their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
jobs or status in society and better education, are
stringent
Correct word choice
strict
show examples
with their
children
Use synonyms
's school and lessons and expect them to gain the best scores and choose the majors they had dreamed
.
Change preposition
of.
show examples
These expectations lead to nervous breakdowns and have ruined youths' mental health.
In addition
Linking Words
, in my country, education at a good university
converts
Verb problem
has
show examples
to a big industry that promotes itself through adverts in media, TV, and schools.
Therefore
Linking Words
, parents are influenced by these advertisements of top universities and institutes easily. Another cause, which has
deep
Correct word choice
strong
show examples
negative effects on
students
Punctuation problem
students,
show examples
is the educational system,
when
Change preposition
from when
show examples
they come to school until they finish it. In many developing nations, when it is time for kids to learn literacy, schools don't try to
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
each student's talents.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
stray
off
Change preposition
from
show examples
their way of life
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
they have to proceed with what society and their parents like.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, how
we can
Correct word order
can we
show examples
tackle
this
Linking Words
circumstance? The government should hold some TV programs,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
seminars and publish essays on
this
Linking Words
issue so people are aware of the consequences of
this
Linking Words
phenomenon.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, schools had better consult every student and get them the right plan so that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they can gain what they like in the future and become a person who attempts their own aims, not others. If these measures are conducted, we will have a happier society with many experts who enjoy their jobs. In conclusion, families and states should care about the kids more and try to provide the best situation and facilities to develop learners' skills.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
have to stop irrational requests and keep
children
Use synonyms
away from stress and anxiety.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State a clear view in the start and keep it to the end of the essay.
coherence
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea and add a few clear examples.
cohesion
Use simple link words to tie ideas together, like also, but, for example, and in addition.
language
Check basics of grammar and word use to avoid wrong meaning and loss of sense.
content
The essay tries to cover both causes and ways to fix the problem.
structure
There is a clear form with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pressures
  • Stress
  • Competition
  • Expectations
  • Peer influence
  • Technology
  • Media
  • Standardization
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Extracurriculars
  • Education reform
  • Financial support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: