The only reason to work hard is to earn money.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#reason #work #money

Nowdays

Correct the word

Nowadays

show examples

, many

people

believe that earning more

money

is an integral part

to get

Change preposition

of getting

show examples

a better life.

However

, in my personal opinion acquiring

adequate

Add an article

an adequate

show examples

amount of

money

may be the initial gate for

someone

for having

Change preposition

to have

show examples

properous

Correct your spelling

proper

life.

This

essay will discuss the reason why

Change the capitalization

show examples

think that the main reason for

people

to work is

money

To begin

with, it is the capitalist system, which

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

the rich become richer

while

the poor just

being

Verb problem

become

show examples

stagnant or even poorer.

This

system

was begin

Change the verb form

began

show examples

when

people

start

Wrong verb form

started

show examples

to monopolize every

resources

Change to a singular noun

resource

show examples

including land, livestock, water and any other valuable resources.

For instance

, by gaining

Remove the article

apply

show examples

full control of those basic needs, they can make

someone

spend their cash to trade the

commmodities

Correct your spelling

commodities

for ensuring

Change preposition

to ensure

show examples

those

people

can through their

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

Hence

, that was the beginning of the

people

start

Wrong verb form

started

show examples

to trade their time and energy with

money

Moreover

, the capitalist system have been more developed in

this

Correct your spelling

21st

century which mainly

support

Wrong verb form

supported

show examples

by the invention of

investment

instrument

Therefore

investment

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

basically designed to make the one who

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

more cash can get more return

Change preposition

show examples

the same

instrument

This

thesis can be simply proven by doing a simple

artihmatic

Correct your spelling

arithmetic

calculation for

return

Correct article usage

the return

show examples

of the

investment

instrument

which

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a 5% coupon with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

initial

investment

of 1 million and 100

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

rupiah. Unfortunately,

it is clear that

the 100

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

initial

investment

will obtain more return for the same

instrument

in the same

periode

Correct your spelling

period

Thus

money

plays an essential role

to build

Change preposition

in building

show examples

someone

's fortune.

To conclude

although

some

people

are willing to work

due to

their passion,

yet

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it is

money

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

will give us a chance to make a better life.

Therefore

, in the

end

Add a comma

end,

show examples

money

Correct article usage

the

show examples

solely

Change the adverb

sole

show examples

factor that

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

someone

willing to work nine to five.

Submitted by dowjones on Sun Oct 29 2023

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task response

Provide a clear and direct response to the prompt by stating your position in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure a logical and well-organized structure by presenting your main points in separate paragraphs.

lexical resource

Broaden your range of vocabulary by using more diverse and precise words.

grammatical range

Work on improving your sentence construction and grammar to enhance clarity and avoid errors.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The only reason to work hard is to earn money.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

the pictures below show how tomato ketchup is made. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

Some people think that paying taxes is a big enough contribution to society, while others think people have more responsibilities as a member of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this?

Students in schools and universities learn more from their teachers than through other means such as the Internet, libraries, and TV. To what extent you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What types of changes are occurring? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?