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Band 4.5

With the growing population in cities more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it positive or negative development?

#population #cities #people #home #areas #development
Currently, more and more
people
 are moving toward big cities from villages,
as a
result
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result,
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 population of urban areas growing very high,
due to
 the limited amount of space, city residents have to live in small
aprtments
Correct your spelling
apartments
 with small or no backwards, the fact there are more and more high-rise building because of that. In my view, there is both
Correct article usage
a negetive
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negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 and positive side to
this
, in the bellow I will discuss about it from my point of view. There are
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
 of positive aspects to
this
.
Firstly
, building many
apartment
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 solves the population problem in big cities. It increases the chances of more and more
people
 having a roof above their
head
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heads
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.
Secondly
, living in an
apartment
 helps us to
noice
Correct your spelling
notice
 and
pollutions
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pollution
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. the health of the
people
 who
lives
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live
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 near
streets
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the streets
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 will be badly affected by dust and
noices
Correct your spelling
noise
notices
noises
.
also
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also,
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 it is safer to live in
apartment
Add an article
an apartment
show examples
,
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apply
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 because they have
decent
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a decent
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 security system.
On the other hand
, those living in apartments will have to pay extra fees,
such
 as security, cleaning, lift and parking fees.
this
 will increase the cost of living for a lot of
people
.
in addition
, before doing any party one
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has
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have
Add the particle
have to
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 ask permission from the
apartment
 management. In conclusion, living in
apartment
Add an article
an apartment
show examples
 can be very costly.
However
, it has positive effects on other aspects of life.
Such
 as a healthy secure lifestyle and privacy.
Therefore
, city life is not for everyone and
people
 think about it very wisely before moving to big cities.
Submitted by husainul.islam.abir on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of your essay.
lexical resource
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grammatical range
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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