IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #children #parents #responsibility #behavior
Children are the most valuable resource in the world and hope for the
future
, so their proper nourishment is essential for every parent. It is often claimed by the public that guardians should take care of the infants and they should be penalized for any misconduct.
Hence
, they will contribute to the bright
future
 of mankind.
However
, others think quite the opposite. I partially agree with
this
 notion, so I am going to talk about both aspects in the upcoming paragraphs. There are numerous reasons to proponents the idea of punishing young ones for their mistakes. First of all, children do not have any decision-making abilities because they do not have any expertise in
this
 area. But,
parents
 can make decisions on behalf of their kids, as they are the first teachers of their children.
Moreover
, if anyone is not going to teach them about their mistakes in the early stage of their life;
then
 it will be very hard in
future
 to shape a well-mannered personality. They will not become an active listener and learner.
On the other hand
,
parents
 should act friendly with their kids, as excessive restrictions will create an adverse impact on their mental growth and they will become dependent on their elders only.
Furthermore
, a human being is a social animal that prefers to live in a society in which we always meet different types of people. Sometimes, they have to deal with them without any support from their guardians, so it will help them to differentiate between good and bad people.
This
 is not possible without a little independence. In conclusion,
parents
 are indeed role models for every offspring because they teach them important things related to living a perfect life, but they should give them a chance to learn from their mistakes as well with a little guidance. So, their decision-making skills can grow which is essential for their bright
future
.
However
,
parents
 should keep an eye on them, so that they can help them in difficult situations.
Submitted by tajinder.panag on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas in a logical manner throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more sophisticated language to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve the overall clarity of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • behavioral accountability
  • moral compass
  • juvenile delinquency
  • parental involvement
  • individual accountability
  • pivotal role
  • unfairness
  • delinquency
  • legal challenges
  • strain on relationships
  • societal benefits
  • determining the extent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: