Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest tax-payer's money in healthcare, other believe that money should be used in other areas. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion
In the current world , individuals think that authorities should invest tax-payer income to develop and fix the
healthcare
sector , while
others disagree and suggest the utilization of this
money in other areas . I personally believe that healthcare
enhancement is indispensable . So, huge investments should be established in order to provide the optimum prevention and treatment to the community . On one hand , those who are against the government's full funding for healthcare
institution
tackled other crucial concerns Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
such
as climate change , transport and education . They suggested equal funding to each sector , and they claimed that because they are the ones who pay the taxes ; they have the right to decide how to divide them . Some added that people should pay for their healthcare
services and insurance companies can cover a wide range of the treatments offered . Conversely
, some argue that healthcare
is the most important fundamental service to be provided and should be totally free. Therefore
, all taxpayers
money should be managed to cover the fees . They suggested that Change noun form
taxpayer's
taxpayers'
government
must invest Correct article usage
the government
this
money in building new healthcare
centres , public health and awareness institutions. I think that if society remains healthy and disease-free there will be a better chance to improve other sectors that need financial support as well as
human labor . To sum up
, a healthy society member can participate more efficiently to ameliorate his country , thus
; taking good care of the individual well-being will definitely enhance the whole area .Submitted by hindgadeem123 on
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relevant specific examples
To achieve a higher score, consider enriching the essay with more relevant and specific examples. For instance, you could mention a particular success story of a country that prioritized healthcare and saw overall improvement, or statistics that emphasize the benefits or drawbacks of government spending in other sectors.
logical structure
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs. Each paragraph should naturally lead to the next. This could be achieved by using more transitional phrases and ensuring each argument is succinctly introduced and concluded before moving on to the next one.
clear comprehensive ideas
Elevate the clarity of comprehensive ideas. Elaborate on certain points made and ensure all arguments are fully fleshed out. Breaking down and explaining complex ideas with straightforward language could help in achieving this.
complete response
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument clearly before providing the author's opinion. This strengthens the task response.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively sums up the author's viewpoint and ties the essay together nicely, reinforcing the importance of healthcare.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion