Why do students prefer doing part time jobs during their studies? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages

In
this
contemporary era, numerous learners tend to engage in a
part time
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part-time
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job. There are several reasons behind
this
,
however
, the main reason is to maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial autonomy without enforcing financial stress on their families. I adopt the view that
this
phenomenon could participate in the occurrence of some psychological disorders because of stressful work environments. To embark on, the main culprit of
this
phenomenon is that some
students
possess a tendency toward being independent financially without imposing a financial burden on their parents.
In other words
, young learners tend to purchase high-end and latest trends which are changing rapidly.
Therefore
, most
students
might not be able to buy these
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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on a regular basis without putting
a
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apply
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financial pressure on their guardians.
Accordingly
, the majority of pupils prefer to
enroll
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enrol
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in
a part-time work
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part-time work
a part-time job
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to assist themselves financially
,
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apply
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and become able to purchase
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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they need.
For instance
,
according to
a survey conducted by a group of Iraqi civil society activists that showed approximately two-thirds of Iraqi high schoolers are working, particularly,
in
Change preposition
during
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summer vacations to become financially independent. What can be said here is that
fiscal
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the fiscal
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side of matters has become an essential factor for living for many
students
.
Nevertheless
, despite the aforementioned point, it can still be assumed that engaging in the labour market from a young age may have a detrimental impact on the psychological well-being of young labourers. To illuminate,
stressful
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a stressful
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work environment is a characteristic feature of a plethora of workplaces.
As a result
, working under consistent pressure from a quiet young age and for a long duration can lead to dire consequences in the
long-term
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long term
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.
Furthermore
, stressful working conditions
along with
study homework will maximize stress on
the
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apply
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young
students
.
This
can be exemplified by an article published in
the
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apply
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Time magazine that revealed a wide variety of serious psychological illnesses
such
as depression and anxiety have become common among pupils because of the hectic lifestyle most of them lead.
This
example shows that enrolling in
labour
Add an article
the labour
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market during the study period might negatively affect
the
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apply
show examples
psychological health, and severe mental disorders will occur. In conclusion,
after
this
essay has reiterated the above-mentioned points, it can be argued that financial independence is the major factor behind having
students
a partial job during their study years. I am of the belief that
this
trend has a detrimental influence on the
students
' mentality
due to
continuous
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the continuous
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working pressures they have to handle
it
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apply
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from a young age.
Submitted by Drfatima.Abdullah on

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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the reasons why students prefer part-time jobs and evaluating the advantages and disadvantages. You have provided relevant examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion. You have organized your ideas logically and effectively throughout the essay. However, there is room for improvement in terms of including more transitional phrases to enhance the flow of your arguments.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is quite extensive and appropriate for the task. You have effectively conveyed your ideas and arguments using a variety of vocabulary. However, be cautious of using overly complex or formal words that may affect the clarity of your writing.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures. You have effectively used a variety of sentence structures and grammatical constructions. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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