Why do students prefer doing part time jobs during their studies? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages
In
this
contemporary era, numerous learners tend to engage in a part time
job. There are several reasons behind Add a hyphen
part-time
this
, however
, the main reason is to maintain the
financial autonomy without enforcing financial stress on their families. I adopt the view that Correct article usage
apply
this
phenomenon could participate in the occurrence of some psychological disorders because of stressful work environments.
To embark on, the main culprit of this
phenomenon is that some students
possess a tendency toward being independent financially without imposing a financial burden on their parents. In other words
, young learners tend to purchase high-end and latest trends which are changing rapidly. Therefore
, most students
might not be able to buy these stuffs
on a regular basis without putting Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
a
financial pressure on their guardians. Remove the article
apply
Accordingly
, the majority of pupils prefer to enroll
in Change the spelling
enrol
a part-time work
to assist themselves financiallyRemove the article
part-time work
a part-time job
,
and become able to purchase Remove the comma
apply
stuffs
they need. Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
For instance
, according to
a survey conducted by a group of Iraqi civil society activists that showed approximately two-thirds of Iraqi high schoolers are working, particularly, in
summer vacations to become financially independent. What can be said here is that Change preposition
during
fiscal
side of matters has become an essential factor for living for many Correct article usage
the fiscal
students
.
Nevertheless
, despite the aforementioned point, it can still be assumed that engaging in the labour market from a young age may have a detrimental impact on the psychological well-being of young labourers. To illuminate, stressful
work environment is a characteristic feature of a plethora of workplaces. Correct article usage
a stressful
As a result
, working under consistent pressure from a quiet young age and for a long duration can lead to dire consequences in the long-term
. Correct your spelling
long term
Furthermore
, stressful working conditions along with
study homework will maximize stress on the
young Correct article usage
apply
students
. This
can be exemplified by an article published in the
Time magazine that revealed a wide variety of serious psychological illnesses Correct article usage
apply
such
as depression and anxiety have become common among pupils because of the hectic lifestyle most of them lead. This
example shows that enrolling in labour
market during the study period might negatively affect Add an article
the labour
the
psychological health, and severe mental disorders will occur.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
after
this
essay has reiterated the above-mentioned points, it can be argued that financial independence is the major factor behind having students
a partial job during their study years. I am of the belief that this
trend has a detrimental influence on the students
' mentality due to
continuous
working pressures they have to handle Correct article usage
the continuous
it
from a young age.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by Drfatima.Abdullah on
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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the reasons why students prefer part-time jobs and evaluating the advantages and disadvantages. You have provided relevant examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion. You have organized your ideas logically and effectively throughout the essay. However, there is room for improvement in terms of including more transitional phrases to enhance the flow of your arguments.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is quite extensive and appropriate for the task. You have effectively conveyed your ideas and arguments using a variety of vocabulary. However, be cautious of using overly complex or formal words that may affect the clarity of your writing.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures. You have effectively used a variety of sentence structures and grammatical constructions. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.