IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that the internet has brought people closer together while other think that people and community are become more isolated.

#people #internet #community
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Nowadays, there is a common issue concerning
influences
Correct article usage
the influences
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from
Change preposition
of
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 the
internet
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 on people’s communication.
While
Linking Words
 there is a positive impact from the usage of the
internet
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, others believe it may be a cause of a more isolated community. The appearance of the
internet
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 has brought an enormous number of opportunities like making posts on social media and chatting with friends in messengers.
This
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also
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 plays a crucial role in the individuals’ ability to keep in touch with close people in order to
an
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apply
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immigration
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immigrate
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 or
relocation
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relocate
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 over a long distance for the purpose of getting a high-level education. Being capable of interacting with either relatives or friends, who are so far from their motherland, people may be closer together and not lose a chance to inform about vital events as the birth of a new family member.
In contrast
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, for a vast majority with appearing of
a
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apply
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diverse
type
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types
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 of communication as video calls and messages, will be more convenient to make a call staying inside, rather than spend time getting ready and meeting with someone.
For instance
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, modern teenagers, for whom it is a vital skill to communicate properly with all groups of people be
it
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they
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youth
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young
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 or
elder
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elderly
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, are always gaming in their
room
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rooms
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 with unwilling to spend spare time with friends in the fresh air.
Moreover
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, these changes may affect
on
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apply
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the vividness of talks as no touching and fewer emotions
occurred
Wrong verb form
occur
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according to
Linking Words
 face-to-face talks,
as a result
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 of which there is a deterioration of relations and society becomes more self-concentrated. In conclusion, the emergence of the
internet
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 may play a crucial role in people’s interactions as they can still be a part of family life,
while
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 there can be a negative impact as the inability to communicate in real life.
Submitted by arinatiutina on

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coherence cohesion
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grammatical range
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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