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Band 5.5

Some people believe that the internet has brought people closer together while other think that people and community are become more isolated.

#people #internet #community
Nowadays, there is a common issue concerning
influences
Correct article usage
the influences
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from
Change preposition
of
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 the
internet
 on people’s communication.
While
 there is a positive impact from the usage of the
internet
, others believe it may be a cause of a more isolated community. The appearance of the
internet
 has brought an enormous number of opportunities like making posts on social media and chatting with friends in messengers.
This
also
 plays a crucial role in the individuals’ ability to keep in touch with close people in order to
an
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apply
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immigration
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immigrate
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 or
relocation
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relocate
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 over a long distance for the purpose of getting a high-level education. Being capable of interacting with either relatives or friends, who are so far from their motherland, people may be closer together and not lose a chance to inform about vital events as the birth of a new family member.
In contrast
, for a vast majority with appearing of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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diverse
type
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types
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 of communication as video calls and messages, will be more convenient to make a call staying inside, rather than spend time getting ready and meeting with someone.
For instance
, modern teenagers, for whom it is a vital skill to communicate properly with all groups of people be
it
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they
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youth
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young
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 or
elder
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elderly
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, are always gaming in their
room
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rooms
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 with unwilling to spend spare time with friends in the fresh air.
Moreover
, these changes may affect
on
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apply
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the vividness of talks as no touching and fewer emotions
occurred
Wrong verb form
occur
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according to
 face-to-face talks,
as a result
 of which there is a deterioration of relations and society becomes more self-concentrated. In conclusion, the emergence of the
internet
 may play a crucial role in people’s interactions as they can still be a part of family life,
while
 there can be a negative impact as the inability to communicate in real life.
Submitted by arinatiutina on

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coherence cohesion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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