In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #work #move #families #friends #development

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In the contemporary era, there is a common tendency for individuals to relocate in search of

employment

opportunities, often living far away from their families and

friends

Although

this

trend has several drawbacks, especially mental distress, I strongly believe that its advantages far outweigh any disadvantages for the chances of improving in their future career. On the one hand, it is true that people usually deal with a common issue of mental distress when moving to a new location for work. Obviously, settling down in a new environment, not hometowns, results in various sources of stress, particularly in workplaces. It is tough for those who fit in with the new environment, including building relationships with colleagues, not relatives or close

friends

Thus

, it is understandable the feeling of isolation in different societies, where their families and

friends

living far away can not give a helping hand.

For example

according to

the General Statistics Office of Japan in 2020, 80% of Japanese young adults found difficulties in integrating into new communities because of a lack of new relationships when they moved to Tokyo to make a living.

On the other hand

, I hold a belief that the idea of looking for

employment

in an unfamiliar place may not outweigh its advantages.

Firstly

, many people have to relocate to appropriate areas for their jobs, the maritime industry often thrives in flatland regions,

for instance

This

also

explained for a variety of

employment

markets to seek a plethora of career opportunities which enhance employees with higher salaries and benefits.

Secondly

, it is

also

a once-in-a-lifetime to be more mature, especially leading an independent lifestyle. Those who live far away from home can pick up many new skills to balance their jobs and their personal life. In Vietnam, 90% of men can cook for themself and ensure the necessary nutrition for daily life's meals. In conclusion,

although

some people may deal with mental suffering when not living close in geography to families and

friends

due to

job opportunities,

this

tendency can provide individuals with ample

employment

markets and a chance for an independent life.

Therefore

, I think that the advantages of

this

development clearly overshadow its drawbacks.

Submitted by phuonglinhlp.0900 on Thu Feb 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to proofread your essay to correct small grammatical errors and to ensure clarity in your arguments. Although minor, these errors can slightly impact the overall coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Expand on your examples by detailing how these examples support your argument. Providing more in-depth analysis will strengthen your essay.

task achievement

Try to maintain a balance between discussing disadvantages and advantages in your essay to fully address the prompt.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

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In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people argue that the content of what children watch on television primarily influences their behavior, while others believe that it is the amount of time children spend watching television that has a greater impact on their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.

Some people think that online reading materials are better for children. Others argues that traditional paper based resources are better. Discuss and give your opinion.

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?