In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?
Many are currently holding the view that youngsters should be instructed
the
importance of Change preposition
on the
competition
and winning in some parts of the world. While
I understand this
trend might benefit children at
their adult life, I believe the negatives would far outweigh the Change preposition
in
positive
.
There are several advantages why young people should learn how essential Fix the agreement mistake
positives
the
Correct article usage
apply
competition
and winning are. Firstly
, as victory was set to be the first priority, this
objective is more likely to push children to the limit and therefore
they can come up with many creative ideas, which encourage them to outplay their opponents during competition
. Add an article
the competition
As a result
, this
idea can contribute to boosting their creativity and confidence at the later stage of their life. Secondly
, an
amount of achievement the young gain from Correct article usage
the
competition
can Add an article
the competition
also
make way for their brighter future. For example
, if high school students win a national academic tournament named “Path to Olympia” in Vietnam, they will be immediately offered a full scholarship from top
20 Australian universities.
Correct article usage
the top
However
, this
trend might be disadvantageous in several ways. The very first and utter reason is that since the mindset is winning by
all Change preposition
at
cost
, those who do not achieve high academic performance at school can use any means to win even cheating Fix the agreement mistake
costs
at
exams. Change preposition
on
This
repeating action would gradually drag youngsters into a dark way and likely turn them into criminals as adults. The second rationale is that if children achieve many awards at a very young age, they might become over
Change preposition
apply
confidence
and even Replace the word
confident
arrogance
, which might lead them to the fact that they will have less motivation to Replace the word
arrogant
broad
their horizons in the future. The final reason is that leadership and teamwork skills should be taught as crucial as winning. Those abilities will facilitate young people in new working settings requiring cooperation.
In conclusion, it is understandable that individuals should be guided wining is necessary in every Replace the word
broaden
competition
. However
, drawbacks
of Correct article usage
the drawbacks
this
trend might be far worse than benefits
.Correct article usage
the benefits
Submitted by ledinhan168 on
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Task Response
The essay addresses the question prompt but lacks a clear stance on whether it is a positive or negative development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally coherent. However, there could be clearer transitions between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses appropriate terminology. Some sentences could be rephrased to avoid repetition.
Grammatical Range
Overall, the essay exhibits a good command of grammar with only minor errors.